Reading your posts was like reading my early ones. Except there was no OM in my case. But I feel I could have written everything else myself. My W informed me back in July 2005 that she hadn't been happy for years, but I was a good father and provider. All these sayings are read form the same standard script. It seems the WAS passes it on after they've read it.
We lived in the same house for about 9 months after the bomb was dropped. We still slept in the same bed, although she clung to the edge (in a King bed). She moved out in April 2006. I was devastated. I lost 40 pounds. I couldn't sleep. I was a wreck.
After 9 months of feeling bad for myself, and my W telling me for the third time that she wanted to D, I finally decided to let go and live my life. Because we have 3 children, I couldn't help but see her. But I remained cordial, and most times just said hi and bye. I don't know if it was my attitude change, or her change of heart, but around April/May of 2007, we started spending more time together. Our time together turned into dates. In June 2007, she moved back in. We are slowly but surely piecing it back together, but I realize it will take time. The hurt doesn't just go away.
I guess I'm telling you all of this because I can relate to your situation. What I learned most is that time can be your worst enemy, or your best ally. It all depends on how you spend that time. They say you should believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. Or maybe it's the other way around. But I learned a lot about myself during that time. As will you.
Just know that you will come out of this whole thing a better person...with or without your W. Take things slow. Brace yourself for the steps back. Don't read too much into the little signs. Let things happen as they come. I know it is easier said than done. Hopefully, as someone who has passed through the tunnel, I can provide some support.
God Bless
PoohBear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
