Welcome..jl and brhrtpe03..it is nice to have new people pop in..come stay awhile...the roller coaster is always running!!!
JL..I did not call him to help with hall..but he did come for pizza and his cards from our kids.In the 7 months he's been gone he has gone to the family functions..except Christmas..I chose not to go to my family because of what they were thinking about him..and my sister has never made him feel welcome..his family treats melike nothing is different. I hesitated to ask him to my sisters for dd graduation party, but I wanted to go for niece, not sister..he went..also asked him if he would like to go to nursing home for picnic with my dad..he went. So the past few months he is coming around alot more...not physically, but emotionally. The time apart has been the best thing that could have happened to us. We are able to breath and learn what it is that we need to change about ourselves..there have not been any r talks..oh maybe a few small ones thta I start in hopes htat he will talk..but he doesn't. He has become very involved in our church..and talks all the time about the ideas they have and he recently became a lay speaker and also is on the staff as financial manager, so he is working with minsisters on all kinds of good things. Last year in c..he told her that when he was 6 he wanted to be a minister...first I had heard that..anyways this seems to be what he has been looking for. Don't ask your h again about family wedding..unless you have to have the answer for response purposes..but respect his answer even if no..patience is very hard for me, but I think I have done pretty good...my friend at work today said she can't believe how I can just wait(we work in court system..divores etc..)I told her that had I not found this bb and the books..I probably would be one of the files on our walls. D is too easy..people don't want to work at saving a m.
brh...don't call him..you both need time apart..work on yourself...I was almost panicky when he wanted to leave..then after calming down..coming here to vent and ask what to do..I realized that I was going work on me..do things for me...I know that I will be ok if he never comes back...I was so worried if I did not call him, he would forget me or think I did not want to talk to him..but you have to remember we have done things together all along...family things..movies..but not talking to him for days was hard..as it got easier for me not to call..he has started calling me..so it does work. I don't know your whole sitch..is your h helping with money? When h moved, I thought I should get my own checking..but h said to keep joint and he would put 1/2 his paycheck in for me..whew...I did not know how I was going to do it..so he is very generous...he is willing at any time to give me extra if I need it..so many good things I have been missing about him. Time is on your side..if you have kids they need to see a strong mom who is taking care of herself. Cry when you need to, vent here, but know you will be ok.
