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((((Jen))))

It's very hard, I know. Last time when H was here I was talking non stop, like Donkey from Shreck!

May be you can focus on doing something that takes up all your attention? For me it would be knitting


I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders
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Originally Posted By: stella_k
Last time when H was here I was talking non stop, like Donkey from Shreck!

Stella, you always make me laugh!!!

I'm actually the opposite. I find things so tense between H and I that I don't have anything to say. It's amazing that we have known each other for 18 years but I feel like we're strangers.


Me47
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"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
addie #1393941 03/18/08 06:45 PM
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H has been a bit distant the last couple of days. He always said I talked enough for the 2 of us. But it really hurts that he can't look me in the eye except when he talks of the D and I only see small smirks. God he's driving me crazy but especially today.

He told me today he was trying to get his life back. You know that pi$$es me off too because it's his choice to leave and his choice not to love me not mine. Why should I feel bad for him and the "life" he thinks he lost?

Jen


Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*

The end of the DB road
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Jen, this is all part of the rollercoaster we all go through. Some days/moments you feel good and then other times you feel like saying to heck with all of it.
Just like your H, my H also doesn't look me in the eye most of the time - it may be guilt.
Whenever you can't validate what he is saying/feeling, then it's probably best to say nothing at all. You don't have to agree with what he's feeling, just say "I'm sorry you're feeling this way" and leave it at that.


Me47
H46
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M16
Piecing since May/09

"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
addie #1394020 03/18/08 07:55 PM
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Thanks Addie and Stella!

You guys make me realize we're not alone in this.

Jen


Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*

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Just spoke to a mutual friend and she said EVERYONE was worried about H. They have been worried because he's not himself and seems to be going through a bout of depression. I wish there was something I could do but I have to sit with my mouth shut and see my H sad and depressed. Where's the life he wants? Right in front of him and he's too GD stubborn to see it.

Jen


Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*

The end of the DB road
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There is nothing you can do to help him, Jen, it's his jorney...

I know exactly how you feel about it.


I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders
____________________________________________________
M 46
H 45
D 17
M/T 23
Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06
Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07
Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
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Jen, I agree with Stella. Right now he doesn't want your help. Unfortunately, he has to get through this on his own.


Me47
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"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
addie #1394275 03/19/08 12:43 AM
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Well, she called him and told him they were all concerned about him. He told her he was depressed but needed to work through all this on his own. Confirming what you have both said.

Jen


Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*

The end of the DB road
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I realized today that I haven't called H since the 15th! With very few texts since then either. I let him come to me and he did! He just called my mobile to tell me where he was going and we chatted for about 10 minutes and I got off the line first.

I'm so happy for me ;\)


Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*

The end of the DB road
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