W and I piecing this M back together

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Just after the bomb I used to phone her to try and find out what was going on, or what W was up to, but I eventually learnt my lesson and stopped calling cos I always ended up feeling bad about my sitch after I spoke to her.

Hi Lan, My W also has a g/f she hangs out with a lot. Tho' she was nice and I valued her feedback I sensed W didn't want me talking to her. There was another g/f whom I respected even more and I got the same impression. My naive purpose for calling them was to try to influence W (counter to OM and other bad pennies) and keep the contact going and they were somewhat receptive initially. But I sensed these b/f's loyalty was with W so I stopped talking to them and have had to contain my urge/curiosity/pain/rejection. Seems to me the ladies have this strong natural tendency to resonate with their own kind while we hurt and just have to put up with it which makes it all the more daunting. They may say/think "She was hurting so much that the A is understandable" ... which makes you feel more like c*%p! The last time I talked to these g/f's was about a year ago!

Anyway one other thought is that perhaps W set up the g/f to call you because she wants to hear a reaffirming "forgiveness" message? Better to send the messages by your actions rather than your words. At any rate I wanted to convey that I understand how you feel and just hang on for the ride until W gets the message; she may actually break down and say she's sorry at some point down the road and that may be the best time for your words of forgiveness.