I am very tired of putting a lid on how I feel, but I also know that the right words and the right timing are much more effective than blowing smoke and steam. I try to think of H's side too, which is hard to do when he keeps so much of his life a secret.
I agree. If I yelled and ranted to H about how awful he is . it will do not one ounce of good..for MYSELF.
I would feel awful about myself. I am not like that. I do not like hurting others. But If I say it just matter of fact, I fel good about myself.
My point of this is , I do it for MYSELf. Not Him.I keep my mouth closed for HIM. WI speak up when I am being honest with myself.
See, I think my situation is a little different. I have an H that doesnt just treat me this way but treats D7 that way.
It isn't right. I fee las if I speak up for her too.
But I have learned when It can be out of anger if i do not control it. I had unresolved anger with H also. I found myself unhappy about how I directed it at him over a small thing.
Now everything I said was true..but I said ALOT! I ended up apologizing for it.
See, I can put myself in H's shoes but he has never put himself in mine. That is where the anger comes from.
And then I felt bad..so this is wher I came to for understanding.
