Letter from WAW after she flew to my city for talk

[GH31]

Well,

This weekend was OK. I went to another part of Germany to stay with some relatives and have some human contact.

Great weekend - ended up going out and staying out until 11am the next morning with my cousin and her friends. Glad to be doing that still at the age of 31, although I don't want to make a habit of it.

For some reason yesterday and today I felt absolutely devastated and ruined. It is horrible, this emotional rollercoaster that is a separation. The emotions change more rapidly than mountain weather conditions.

My wife has emailed me asking about how all of my job interviews are going, still signs off emails with my pet-name for her and with "love". I have stopped doing that and sign off all of my emails with "best wishes" or "take care" and start them with "Dear [Wife's name]". She has sent me around three emails today which is a definite improvement on before.

For those of you new to my sitch, the only contact I have with my wife is through email. She lives in another country and we don't speak over the phone currently. She has a new number which I haven't asked for and which she hasn't given to me. he has called me once and come to visit me once since the separation. All on her own initiative which I guess is good. Rather than responding immediately I always wait for a day to pass before replying as per LRT.

She has also asked me to make plans for a "fabulous future together" but what I don't like is how conditional her return is sounding and the fact that the OM is still in the picture and also....that she's currently living in another country. If we are going to make plans for a fabulous future together than I definitely need to involve her in the planning process and I believe that recommitting to the marriage and permanently severing ties with the OM is 100% necessary. I don't want to pressure her so I haven't even bothered replying to her yet (and I don't yet know what to do). Any advice from successful DBers as to how to play this.

It all sounds encouraging and I want to see more of it but whilst the OM is in the picture I wouldn't even consider taking her back, even though my mind, heart and gut-feeling really wants to. So for now, I keep up LRT and loving detachment because it's giving me the results I am looking for. I also continue to work on the anger, selfishness and abandonment issues.

Nothing juicy here I know, just wanting to vent. I cannot believe a word she says at the moment. It's like she's treating OR more like we were boyfriend and girlfriend rather than husband and wife.