Just realized some of my friends posted to my "irritated" posting last night. Going to reply here b/c I want to just stick with one post. But I had to get that stuff out last night so I didn't spread it on my H or my kids.....
Thanks for the support. I know there is nothing any of us can do to change the situation over night or we all would be in different situations right now, wouldn't we??
And I will NEVER talk bad about my H in front of my kids. He is their Hero and I want it to stay that way regardless of what happens. Yes, it makes me aggravated to know that they think he is Superman when he is messing things up, but it is good for them to love and honor and respect their dad. And hopefully it gives their dad a reason to try to live up to his hero status in their eyes.....
Kalni I need to work on myself like you said. I wish I could flip a switch and feel content with my situation, but it doesn't work that way. My SIL is having marital issues as well and says she is on Zoloft. That maybe medication could help me handle my emotions better. I don't know how that works, thought it was a chemical thing in the body. Can I really go on meds just because I am in a temporary depression/anxiety cycle? IT better be temporary, anyway......
So today is a new day. Focus on today and what I need to do today.
One other kind of unrelated question though. Yesterday when I was still rational I decided I would go as pitch dark as I could concerning H, other than kid discussions, b/c I want him to see that I am not the cause of his unhappiness, and I want him to really see what his life without me is like.....
Then he asks if we can go to "Horton" on Friday as a family. And he wants to spend Easter Sunday together. Part of me thinks, go and be happy and fun and not only will I have fun, H can see what he is missing, what his life COULD be like every day.......Part of me says, don't do things with him. Let him be by himself since he says he needs space to figure things out. Let him see what it is like not to have his wife around. But I want to do family things for the kids either way. Things like this mess me up. B/C I want to be the happy, loving wife he always knew I was and want that BACK. But I don't want him to cake-eat, get his "fix" of family time and then be gone again for a week.....Anyway I am rambling now but that is my current dilemma...
posted to my "irritated" posting last night. Going to reply here b/c I want to just stick with one post. But I had to get that stuff out last night so I didn't spread it on my H or my kids.....
