I got a call from FIB yesterday and he got on to me for being down. He actually played his bagpipes for me over the phone. Bagpipes over a cell phone sound like ... lets just say that I expected to see a cobra rise out of a basket.
I am still in my "I don't give a sh!t" depression. I have to get out of my apartment by the end of the month and I have not even started packing. Just don't care.
The house is a disaster. I have started working on it but progress is slow b/c I am slow to work it - no motivation to. Unexpected things turn up each day and that gets me down. After pulling up the carpet, I also had to pull up some subfloor in my bedroom b/c of damage. Much of the woodwork needs to be replaced. That is the bad thing about older houses. Things should go better when I move in - save the time going back and forth between house and apartment. But I do need some furniture and a fridge. The kitchen is shot but the stove still works.
It sucks b/c I am working this alone. I guess I see the ads in the mags where H and W are covered in paint and dust sharing the job and being happy together.
I really miss my old life and I miss my kids. My daughter got the flu recently - real flu, not a bad cold. And I was not there for her. To make matters worse, Ex calls me a few days later and wants to know if I think daughter is well enough to return to school. Like I was there? How could I answer that? WTF?
Ex continues to interact as if we were still married and I am on a business trip. She calls often wanting my opinion on things. I don't mind helping but sometimes I feel used.
Our child support payments got screwed up and I had to fix. But I emailed her and said that was it - she would have to take care of any future divorce related problems. I did my part - that chapter is closed.
Another interesting thing is that Ex called my mom and asked her to come see her new house. My mom went. Mom bragged on her house and of course that made me feel bad b/c of my old broken down house. But what was really interesting is my mom said Ex told her that Ex still loved me. Maybe my mom was just hearing what she wanted to hear or that Ex was trying to be "nice" but that is something I don't need to hear.
That is about it. Work during the day and work some on the house at night and weekends. Rest of the time just lay around. Not much else going on. Don't care.
I am very lonesome right now. Not a good place to be.
