Thanks Brad and Joie! I am now dealing with the relatives. My brother wants me to file for divorce, and seems upset with me that I want H to do that. (I am dreading/expecting that to happen soon probably.)
My sil (H's sister) emailed and suggested counseling for the kids since H had emailed her they didn't cry/act upset when he left. I think she thinks they are holding their emotions bottled up, but she doesn't realize H checked out of the family a while back. He has either been out with OW (gone about 80 hours a week with work & OW) or texting her when he is here, and rude/abusive to me besides which I don't think the kids like seeing. It is probably inconceivable to her that the kids are actually healthier and happier with their dad gone, but I think they really are (as am I).
I talked to my S14, and he doesn't want to see a therapist, but I am talking to them (we have honest & open talks about stuff), so will keep it in mind if they seem to need it at some point. I think another reason they are distant with their dad is he never really talks to them much the few hours that he is here: H is either watching TV, sleeping, or texting OW so him moving out is not that big a deal to them as it might be for kids that had a more normal and involved dad.
I emailed back SIL and said the kids and I are fine, & H is probably the one that needs counseling. I probably shouldn't have emailed that, but it is so true!!! Karen
