It looks to me that you are at the "After the Last Resort" stage or are very close to that - and there is no going back over the Rubicon once that happens. No judgement from here but I know you will do the best thing for you and your children - and those who really know what you have been through will be in your corner regardless...
Hi Daybreak,
I'll have to find my copy of db and dr to refresh my memory as to what the difference between the LRT and the After the LRT is. The difficult thing for me is trying to figure out exactly what is in the best interest of the children. If I can't change the dynamic between h and I, I feel like my children will be getting less than they deserve. Perhaps if h is no longer living the lie of being my h he will grow and then have more to offer the children than the scripted version of life. I really wish I could wake him up, have him understand how short life is and that you can't keep assuming you'll have next year or next decade or your retirement to enjoy your family and your life. I thought he learned that during seperation but maybe those were just lies to tell to get back home. I just don't know what to do anymore. If I didn't believe h was capable of being "more" I don't think I would have let him home or even held on for as long as I have. I understand the waw statement "too little to late and are these changes for real" I've been living the cycle for too long not to think that. I'm starting to realize that the waw's get a bad rap...sure some of it they deserve by waiting until they are involved with OM to leave...what though is the difference between a woman who waits for OM before they leave or the one who waits until they get a job or loose the weight or get the house in order or ...
