Hey Guys, I'm sorry if I've fallen off the face of the earth for a few days. The weekends I have the kids I don't get a chance to post...for obvious reasons! But also I've just really been trying to switch gears and pay attention to myself. I'm doing a lot of soul searching trying to figure out my own fate in all of this. I'm tired of looking at this as H's way of controlling of my life. I can't control these circumstances, but I can control what I do with them from here on out.
My conversation with my L got postponed until Wed. Not a bad thing...I'm still deep in thought about what I want regarding the custody. I need to make sure that above all else I'm making the right choices for my kids and not letting my ego get in the way of those decisions. I'm trying to just enjoy the time I do have with my kids and not dwell on the not having them. The answers will come to me I'm sure...maybe I have to stop looking so hard for them.
H is not happy with me and it's coming across each time I see him. But for possibly the first time in all of this, I don't care. I really don't. I've got nothing more to lose with the exception of my dignity and self respect and I'm slowly coming to the realization that he can't do anything to take those from me unless I allow it. Not going to happen.
So on to better things! I bought new jeans tonight...2 pairs!!! One was a size 29 and the other a size 6!!! I'm sorry to brag, but I haven't been this size in...a really long time. I feel SO good! My Mom (the wonderful woman she is) gave me $$ for new jeans and boy did I find some good ones tonight! My girlfriend and I got out for a few hours while H had the kids. It was lots of fun and she bought a pair too. I spend way to much on them, but I don't care!
WTG...I may have an extra box of cookies if you're interested. I have a really crazy week but maybe we can figure something out. E-mail me if you want.
Bear...you're so sweet. Thank you so much for all of your hugs, trust me they're felt.
Well, I think that's my update! Tomorrow D is home with me...we have gymnastics in the morning and she's coming to the dentist with me in the afternoon. SIL is coming along for the day...should be interesting. But the best part about tomorrow is that I get to wear my new jeans!!! J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
