Happy Moms Day to all the moms...I always feel very sad and weepy on this day..but did go to church today and then to MIL for supper. My d and I went together as she was going to work later, and on the way we talked a little about me wnating to sell the house and find something else..but I said I don't want to mention it to her dad, as I don't know what is going to happen..I told her I wish I had some answer one way or another..she said "have you two tried to work on anything?"I said "no" she said "then how would you expect any kind of answer" That is true..I keep thinking he just has no feelings left for me, but is afraid to tell me. At supper mil said that sil wanted to know if we were back together..she told her no..sil wanted to invite me to bil graduation, but did not know if she should..mil told her we are still m and of course to invite me..sil said good, that she was going to anyway.MIl said even if you two do get a d, I would still be part of family as I am the mother of her grandchildren. So...on the way home wiht h..I was asking him about the ff..if any old timers remember she was part of my problem with h..I asked h if she would help me plant some stuff cause she is pretty good at that..and I had tried to become her friend to better understand her and her problems..well..h said she wouldn't have time as "she is always with new bf".I asked if she evers calls him at midnight drunk like she did here..he said no, because she is always with bf. Then I said how nice it was that his family was not just dis-owning me..like my family has done with him....and that I wondered if h brother and sil would invite me to their d wedding in Oct...he said why wouldn't they..I said "your mother talks as if we are getting a d..and while that is a possibility it is not etched in stone is it"? He said simply"nothing is ever etched in stone". We were then at home and I thanked him for the ice cream cone we had gone to get, and got out. I think he is not ready for any more of a r talk..I gave him a chance to say something..anything. It was a big step for me to say what I did...I am not sure how to take his response about the etched in stone thing. I so want to be positive, but I really wanted him to grab me and hold me and say "I am still working on me...and I want to be with in the future but I need more time...just ANYTHING to show his feelings towards me.The negative feelings start to creep out and I feel rejected all over again.
