Somtimes I don't know if I can handle this anymore. I see signs my W is improving, but I don't think she will ever say ILY to me again. She's stuborn and selfish. She's telling me her plans and I'm not part of them. Oh, she's willing to let me drop her off at the airport, but that's it.
She getting closer but at the same time she's keeping her distance. She's yelling more at me then she use to, but it doesn't bother me. I don't fight or try to argue.
Today, I told her that whatever is going on in her pretty little head, I can't help her. I said I care and that she's not living her life. I said a few more things but I can't remember what I said. It wasn't said in an angry tone just said.
Sometimes I want her to take D10 and leave. Sometimes I want to be served D papers. Somtimes I want someone to comfort me.
If the opportunity came up would I cheat on my W? So far I don't think so. Why am I thinking like this... I don't know. I've been M for almost 12 years 5 of which she was in MLC. Written down it doesn't look like a W I want to be M to anymore. If D10 wasn't in the mix I probably would have been gone along time ago.
Things are better, but how long before she kisses me?
Things just s*ck way too much in my life. Work there's stress, home there's stress and now with my W's financial crisis even more stress.
All I want is an M life with a woman who loves me.
