Bury them in the back yard and plant popcorn...LOL!
Oh figgy, it's good to be able to laugh about it.
I'm glad the ex is paying child support finally. That's awesome! ----------- So...I bought a car today...on ebay! Oh yes I did!
I am flying to Cleveland next Tuesday to pick it up and drive it home.
It's just what I wanted (Chrysler T & C) and they are installing a dvd player in it for me--ah, the little things that keep mommy sane! It was several thousand less than blue book value, leather interior, side air bags, etc...I'm stoked.
I know, it's risky buying ebay cars I'm sure but almost all my transactions on ebay over the past many years have been incredible and I love it. Besides, is it any less risky than buying it from an individual or local dealer? I did the research on it and I'm satisfied that it will be a good car.
Meanwhile, my other van which has been in the shop for 2 weeks just had the brakes go out--completely! They were backing it out of the garage when the brakes went--better them than me.
Anyway, that's another unexpected expense related to this damn car. But, hopefully I can sell it and off set some of the expense of the new car. Mitch pitched in 1K for it which was nice. He wanted to make sure he got credit with the children for helping out. It was pretty awkward the way he asked for it, but I reassured him that I would tell the children how nice it was that daddy chipped in. Oy--kind of pitiful the way he goes about scraping up any credit he can get.
So, I'm feeling a little more in control of my life today. I like making decisions and following through and being a big girl.
Also, I refinanced my house last week and it's now in my name only and I have a very good amount of equity in the house now. Yay!
Congrats on the new car purchase. I have only driven Chryslers in the past 35 years - true! I bought a van when pregnant with my 3rd and loved it so much that I later bought a new one (much like the one you just bought). Finally went back to a sedan a few years back and now still drive the Chrysler 300!
My girlfriend had trouble with an EBay car purchase - it was a Beamer and NOT as described. She ended up getting her $ back. But so many of her friends had great luck buying that way.
The DVD player is invaluable. I love the new vans with the quad seating and table for game playing. Even my car has the DVD player which is almost silly for me. All my kids have cars and it is rare than anyone ever sits in my backseat. It has been used on maybe 3 occasions - oh well.
Althea, You've inspired me to check out Ebay for my next car purchase, which will be within the next few months because my lease will be up. I want a Hybrid Honda or Toyota and for whatever reason, the dealers don't have much of a selection. I checked out Ebay after reading your post and there's so much to choose from, even in new cars. I'm excited!!!
2 cents: A man married and divorced four times knows how to appear to be what each particular woman happens to want, but doesn't know how to be in a true authentic romantic partnership.
Red flag, yeah, I'd say. But only if you are looking for marriage material. Dating, maybe ok, unless, of course, you are feeling vulnerable and needy, looking for someone who will appear to be exactly who you want...
Contrarily, I think Mitch's life may go just fine. I think the kids may very well adapt and continue to love him. He may live happily every after with LP and thrive professionally.
SO WHAT?
You ask why his life is going well? Because he is bringing things into it that he finds hugely important and fulfilling, even if it is scary and requires change and risk. He is perhaps a bit too focused on himself right now, but he will swing back into a more moderate mode most likely. When we change or lives, we often go to an extreme before we gentle back to a better mean.
What are you bringing into your life that you have longed for, perhaps even forgotten you wanted?
Your life will be better with him out of it than it was with him in it. Why is it a problem if the same is true of him? Please tell me you aren't still holding onto being right, lol. It is really OK for you both to have wonderful lives.
Quo-yes, I think ebay motors is very organized. Before you buy, research the car (get a carfax or Autocheck report--it's only $7.50 for 1 and $15 for 10 with Autocheck) and make sure the seller has a very high feedback (over 99%) rating. Never ever pay with Western Union!
Because of the internet, there are a lot of car dealers who can offer below wholesale prices--they buy off lease cars and can sell them cheap because they have such a low overhead. I don't know about how the new car situation works--I never buy new. On-line buying is the way to go for so many things. It sure beats driving from dealership to dealership test driving so-so cars you don't really like. With ebay you can type in all the features you want and Voila! THERE IT IS!
Barbie--I am flying to Cleveland (where the car is) next Tuesday and will drive it home (the same day (it's about a 6 hour drive home). My kids will definitely use the DVD player and it will probably save their lives and mine! I've been borrowing my mother's old station wagon while my car's been in the clinker and I swear, having the kids right behind me, scrunched up all together poking each other and fighting is enough to want me drive head first into a tree!
And about ebay--I collect antique portrait miniatures and miniature books and would never have been able to find the amazing little treasures any other way.
Your life will be better with him out of it than it was with him in it. Why is it a problem if the same is true of him? Please tell me you aren't still holding onto being right, lol. It is really OK for you both to have wonderful lives.
Oldtimer--How dare you be so reasonable when I want to rant!!!
Eh, just kidding luv.
I don't know why it matters. I don't know why I care. Because, I am human I suppose and it will take me time to adjust. I think you are right. I think it will all be okay and that the children will adjust and that he will normalize his life because he does strive for balance and so...it will all work out.
But sometimes I need to be CRAZY!
I did get a VERY sweet email from ex MIL today telling me how amazing the children are and how proud of me she is for raising them so well. That was a big thing for her to say and I appreciated it. I really did.
I am REALLY trying to get to an acceptance place with Jackie. I feel I need to get over this hurdle for me to be happy. I need to extend an olive branch and blaze the trail so that when we do meet (which is inevitable) I can know that I was the one who was the bigger person. It's not about being right for the sake of being right, it's about battling my demons and conquering my fears.
But still, sometime I just need to be crazy!!!
And about karate man--I'll keep my eyes open with him, don't worry. I am not feeling desperate in any way and am ready to evaluate the situation for what it is and let it go if it isn't right.
I'm another one you've inspired with the ebay auto-shopping deal. Something about going from dealership to dealership makes me a real cranky pants, so it is great to hear how well this has gone for you.
Your exchange with OT is enlightenening, but this especially caught my eye:
Originally Posted By: MotherMovingOn
I am REALLY trying to get to an acceptance place with Jackie. I feel I need to get over this hurdle for me to be happy. I need to extend an olive branch and blaze the trail so that when we do meet (which is inevitable) I can know that I was the one who was the bigger person. It's not about being right for the sake of being right, it's about battling my demons and conquering my fears.
One the one hand, I say good for you, but OTOH, do you have to set such a high bar for the rest of us? Let us know exactly how you plan to get to such a charitable place, wouldya?
