Bring on the Rain

[SueS]

Okay- So I decided that I'll be a copycat and use a song as my thread title this time. This one is by Jo Dee Messina, featuring Tim McGraw. Wish I could give you all a YouTube link, but I can't access that at work. Maybe I'll stick it on there tonight at home.

Bring on The Rain
Another day has almost come and gone
Can't imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war.

Cause, Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

It's almost like the hard times circle 'round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I'm not dead, no

Cause Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight

Cause Tomorrow's another day
And I am not afraid
So bring on the rain

Cause Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

Ooh

Bring on, Bring on the Rain

No I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
So bring on the rain

Bring on, Bring on the Rain

Bring on the rain
Bring on the rain


Journaling......
Well, it was a pretty good weekend. D3 and I went to dinner Friday night and then bummed around at some stores. On Saturday we got up and went to "Horton Hears A Who". Cute movie and D3 really liked it. We did some more shopping on Sat. Big bargain deals at Old Navy, so I picked up some things for D3.

H called about 3 times on Friday. The last time he called us was about 9:30 pm. He was at the concert in Omaha. We talked to him on Sat. morning and he got home around 3:00 pm....to an empty house. I didn't want to be home when he got there. He laid down to sleep almost as soon as we got home. I strongly suggested he get up for 5 minutes to talk to D3, as she was upset that he was laying down. I did tell him about her being upset on Thurs. night that he didn't come home. I felt it was time he heard things like this. We had dinner on Sat. night and then just hung out.

On Sun., D3 and I got ready to go see my Aunt & Uncle. I had thought H would be home when we got back, but he wasn't. He let us know that he was going out with some friends at 3:00 pm and then would be headed to the Springsteen concert here. Not sure if OW was involved in his plans at all. Didn't really bother me as much as I thought it would. H called D3 and I when we were on our way home from my Aunt & Uncles. He wanted to let me know that he was leaving just a bit earlier than expected and wanted to make sure we knew he wouldn't be home when we got back. Odd that he let me know that. I called him later from the grocery store and he didn't answer. He called back and apologized that he couldn't reach his phone when I called. He said he'd probably call us later but never did.

I fell asleep with D3 snuggled up next to me. I woke to find H in bed with us. He was turned toward D3 with his hand on her back. That to me was very odd. Lately H will not sleep in our room if D3 is there. Or, he'll move her to her room. Just a bit odd to me.

I've been looking again at apartments. Trying to find one that would really fit our needs. I really wish that we could stay where we're at, but I just can't afford it.

I've had my moments of crying still, but as sad as I get sometimes, I'm looking at how I really don't want to be involved in this mess anymore. I'm tired. I know I have a long way to go though. H and I will always have close involvement because of D3, but I won't be the one in the mess of a brand new relationship with someone with 4 kids. I won't be the one worried because it's 3:00 am and he's not home. Or the one who has to listen to his anger when something doesn't go his way. And trust me, that anger will be there.....no matter how happy he is with her.

Well, time to sign off and get some more work done!

SueS

Link to Last Thread

[Yoyowife]

(((((Sue)))))),
You are right, you will be okay, more than okay, because you are a wonderful strong woman.

I think the best thing you can do as far as H and DD3 relationship goes, let him make the effort to bond with her. I think he needs to suffer the consequences. I know this hurts you to no end, but he is being so selfish, I think he needs to miss her and you.

Another thing to think about when he moves out, make sure you get a separation agreement. If he can afford to spend all of that money on concerts, he should be able to support his child!

Hugs,

[Sugar and Spice]

Amen to that Yoyo! You took the words right out of my mouth. He seems to have a lot of disposable income. His first obligation is to your DD3.

You are a very strong woman and you are setting a great example for your D, you should be proud of yourself. You will be ok, there is no question in my mind.

Your H will have to deal with the fall out from the choices he has made. I know its hard to watch your child go through it, but he needs to facilitate his relationship with your D. You already have one.

Keep your head up, I know its not much help, but there are people out here pulling for you.

[SueS]

Yoyo & Grumpy-

Thanks so much! Grumpy, I have to disagree with you on one thing.....knowing people are pulling for me does help. I think of everyone on this board A LOT.

I used to worry about being home on time or not being out to long in case H would be home or us missing him. I don't worry any more. If he can't adjust his schedule for us, I don't need to adjust ours to him. He had a disappointed tone in his voice the other day when I told him that we were going to the movie on Sat. & then to my Aunt & Uncles on Sun. He knows he's more than welcome to join us (yes I have told him this), so it's his loss if he doesn't.

I had a long talk with my best friend on Friday night. She's been in a long distance relationship for about 2 years. Both she and he are divorced...her 10 years, him 3. She told me that she's thinking about ending it. We had a long talk about how we both need to start living life again and getting out there and doing things. She's a mom of 3....1 in college, 1 soon to be & 1 in Jr. High. We're the same age but have gone through similar things in our lives. It was nice to talk to her. We had a few tears together but it was nice.

SueS

[LL44]

I won't be the one worried because it's 3:00 am and he's not home

This has been the best for me since H moved out, Sue. I go to bed, and even if I do wake up at 3am, I have nothing to worry about. I don't care where H is, not my worry at the moment. Its wonderful to go to bed and wake up the next day like that. I swear its amazing.

Or the one who has to listen to his anger when something doesn't go his way

Even though H's worst anger was over by November or so, he is even more respectful and kind towards me now that he is gone. I don't have to witness the irrational anger at things, his short fuse. And now that we mostly have the kids at separate times, he is not stressed by my presence, and has his own calm time with the girls too.

You also mentioned about making your own plans. I used to try to have the kids home when he would be there, but no longer. I am still considerate, but expect him to work with me as well. Its working well so far.

I love JoDee Messina, by the way. Don't forget "Roll With The Punches".

PS: We are seeing Horton on Friday!

[SueS]

Thanks lwb!

You know what seems strange? We worry so much about our WAS leaving us. I can't say what it's like yet to have H leave, but it seems to me that in the long run, we are the ones that come out stronger and feel better and relaxed. They are the ones that end up missing us and miserable. That's just how it seems with some of the sitch's here.

Here's the link to Bring on the Rain.... Bring on the Rain


For you lwb....... Yeah, the Panda's are odd, but it was the only one I could find!!
Roll with the Punches

Have a good night!

[LL44]

We worry so much about our WAS leaving us.

I used to be terrified about H leaving. Terrified of divorce. Terrified of everything. One day driving about a month ago, I realized "I am not afraid anymore". I am very sad for the kids, but not afraid of anything else regarding H. Yes, I will mourn losing Old H, but not afraid anymore.

[SweetRedd]

Sue,

It's so good to hear you realizing you can come through this and be OK and stronger because of it. As lwb has said, there are times of sadness and hurt, but it's also freeing to be your own person and to not own your H's problems. You're starting to see how much happiness, peace and love your H has stolen from your life. You're reaching out and claiming those things for you and D3 again - GAL.. awesome

Just wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you and keeping up.. hope you and D3 have a great week.

Sheila

[saffie]

Sue,

just checking in to say hi and that I am following along.

(((((much hugs))))))) to you and your little lady

[Sugar and Spice]

That is actually the best part of this, no longer being afraid or having to worry.

My H left me, I didn't leave him, its as simple as that. When I first found out, my biggest fear was to lose him to OW, but having him home was even worse than having him gone. Then I was right in the middle of it constantly with no relief. At least this way, there is a respite. If I don't want to deal with it, I just go home or tell him not to come over.

Love the songs ladies, thanks for the links. Earlier, I didn't mean that having the people here wasn't a lot of help, but I know its not the same as having your life back the way you wanted it. We are all here because we are in some sort of painful situation. I love this site and I'm SO GLAD I found it. The lovely people here, keep me sane. Just wanted to clarify. Have a great day.