My W's actions are really confusing me... I just don't know what to do anymore. I've been DB'ing and it has worked great to get us communicating once again. We see eachother all the time and are even having little date nights. She doesn't talk about OM anymore ever. That led me to think it was nearing the end/over with him but I never asked her about that directly. Guess I was afraid of the answer. So the phone bill this morning affirms that she still has been talking to him a lot. But she's been hanging out with me a lot too. DB'ing got us to a better position in our R but hasn't done anything about OM. What do I do now? Is there a different approach I need to take?
W called me at lunch today to ask if she could come over and have lunch with me. I said she could and I even cooked her a nice lunch. I should see this as a positive sign, but I think she is using me to fill the hole in her life left by leaving me. In the meantime she is getting her more intimate needs met by OM. That really hurts me. Do I just need to cut her off from seeing me so she can see what it's like when I'm not there? When we first seperated that is what I did (after a short bout of me being a pathetic groveler) but she seemed so happy when we started hanging out again. Are we making true progress here or are we just going to be good friends? I've taken the 'be friends with my W while she figures things out' approach up until now, but she has been seeing OM for 5 months now and there is no sign of letting up. When do I say enough is enough? I felt like I've hit that point several times now but I always come back to wanting to work on our R again. I guess when I truly get to the point where I've let go then I won't care about our M anymore. I wish that's the way I felt right now... because DB'ing, while good at getting W and I to be friends again, just seems to be prolonging the hurt and the inevitible.
Should I just tell her I don't want to have anything to do with her until OM is gone. It will be painful to do but it's already pretty painful to be riding this rollercoaster of getting my hopes up and then having them stamped out. BTW-My W doesn't know that my emotions have been killing me through this whole process as I have put up a strong front. Maybe she thinks I don't care. I don't want to show her that side of my emotions because that hasn't been productive at all while we've been going through this.
If you can't tell... it has been another rough morning.
