You know, I was thinking today about when this stuff all started with me......and like I have said to others, you can't go and mark it on the calendar, but I look back just last year and wonder what what I thinking? That is why I believe I did enter some type of crises......call it whatever you want....MLC or not, it was a crises for me and my H and family! I know I was no more myself than anything. I did not think or act like myself. I ,,,,,,,,,oh no use in going on about that....just thankful that I am coming out more and more as time goes by. I think I am through, but I don't want to be too confident and "fall from grace" again. I never would have thought I would have done it the first time around either!
It does make me understand how people feel that go through this horrible thing in their life, whether they are in their 20's or 60's.......it is just awful. I don't remember hearing about things like this when I was a kid and I think it has to do with the condition that our society is in today and all the pressure that is placed on us an individuals and as M partners, parents, employees/employers....on & on. We try to get involved in too many things and have our kids in way too many activities (thinking we are being a good parent, but it is just taking them away from our time with them). You know, after a while, something has to give.......usually it is the M. B/c we are unhappy and that seems to be the backbone of the MR breakdown.
I wasn't in all those extra activities growing up, nor were my parents....but we were home together every night, sitting around the dinner table talking about our day. Then Mother and I would clean the kitchen and later we all met in the front room and watched TV together or played a game. Of course, people didn't have computers in home then, or even a TV in every room of the house. So, things were quite different. I know I sound old fashion, but it's okay, I would not have traded those years of growing up with what kids have today. All they really want (in spite of what they yell out....are both parents at home with them).
I am certainly not against women working (if that is what they want to do), and I am most certainly for equal rights in the salary and job placement, etc. However, I was afraid when I saw so many young mothers undertake careers and homes and parenting...the "supermom" era.....lots of breakdowns from all of that. You can just spread so thin.
I am rambling b/c it breaks my heart to read over and over again almost the same stories. Have you noticed that? They vary little. Men and women are thrown together in the workforce more so now than ever before and I have noticed that the younger folks don't see anything wrong with their S having friendships with the opposite sex (without the S included). However, I can tell them that trouble is waiting to happen whenever they start that.
Well, just talking and thinking outloud today. Thanks, Ann, you've been a good frined.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
