No way could I have gone 3 weeks without contact. Logistically it would not have worked and as much as I preach the DB lessons, I sometimes was not the best at following my own advice!
Also, my sitch was somewhat unique and I think that a long lay off in contact would have been very bad for us. I too did DB coaching and while I appreciated the communication, I think that much of what we do to save our marriages comes from seeing what is going on around us and reacting accordingly.
I think that our marriages suffer in this world because we fail to act on the stimuli that stress the marriage both positive and negative! In my case it was lots of negative stimuli that I put on the marriage, but there was no reaction from either of us. She looked the other way, and I ignored that I was not behaving as an adult!
Same goes for any string that you read, we get so insulated that we can't see the forest through the trees.
Me thinks that any 180 is a good 180 as long as it is completed with the focus of changing the dynamic that put your marriage behind in the first place. Doing a 180 for the sake of difference is a death blow because if YOU do not believe in the new behavior you will not sustain it!
Good luck!
Me: 33 jacka** whom lied, stole, cheated, and basically treated DW like crap for years DW: 29 kind soul who gave too much to me over the relationship
S7 S4
M: 7yrs Bomb: 10/19 Seperated: 10/24
The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce
