I have been scarce these last few days. This weekend was a bit tough -- the first time I haven't had custody of my S's for an entire weekend since the separation began 8 months ago. While I have traditionally been accustomed to spending time alone much of my adult life, I am no longer used to it. Unlike some people, I am not a social butterfly who feels all out of sorts when not around others -- in fact I tend to take great advantage of my solitude, or at least I used to. Unfortunately not having to give the care to my boys like I have grown accustomed to has had me at a disadvantage -- I do miss them so.
It did not help that whenever I called them, my two S's were basically unresponsive. We have established the tradition that when they are in the care of one parent, the other parent will call and talk to them by phone every day, once in the morning (before the start of the day) and once in the evening (just before bed time). Well every time I called them this weekend, they were always distracted by something. W filled their weekend with activities and kept them up much later than usual -- even last night, which was a "school night". S7 has a hard enough time focusing on a conversation when there are a minimum of possible distractions. W has complained to me bitterly whenever I had left a children's show on while she tries to talk over the phone to them. So I have taken great pains to ensure the best possible setting for their conversations when she calls. This weekend, W showed no such sensitivity herself.
And apparently W is earnestly trying to win back her place as the "fun" parent (her words) by taking the two of them to movies and to Bullwinkle's (a place like Chucky Cheese's). I am not really threatened, but I am sure W is thinking she is having great success in showing me up in my children's minds. I guess she has fully bought into her mother's thinking that fathers (or husbands) are pretty much optional.
One good thing that happened is that W did take our S's to church on Sunday. I had a bit of fear that W's guilt would have fabricated some excuse for her not taking them, just as her guilt has led her to so many other harmful and hurtful behaviors. But she did take them, even though she pulled that same trick again of relocating to another part of the sanctuary once she took S7 to children's church, so as to not sit anywhere near me. I was expecting that and so I wasn't really bothered by it. I was more concerned that she not miss the reading from the Bible for Palm Sunday, where the betrayal by Judas Iscariot was described. There are so many similarities between Judas and the WAS.
Friday night, I got together with a couple of my Divorce Care friends at a coffee shop. It was a good chance for me to get out and socialize with other adults -- more GALing. We had a long conversation (3 and a half hours) mostly about legal matters, and about how these WAS are treating us in such an awful, heartless manner. I am astonished how exhausting both financially and emotionally these legal proceedings can be -- and I have barely started out. There's potentially a lot of rough, rough road ahead for me (and for W too). If W persists, it won't be pretty.
