Thanks for checking in. It's been rough emotionally. Today was my annual MRI follow-up. For some reason, I was nervous when I went in. The technician made me lay down on a bed while she put the IV line in my arm.
It reminded me of the day of my surgery when they were doing a pre-op procedure on me. I had only found out the diagnosis the day before and it was just still a big shock to me that day. So throughout that procedure, tears just streamed down my cheeks.
Today, the technician asked me about my cancer history and I told her about crying during my pre-op procedure 7 years ago. And I ended up dissolving into tears while she got me ready for the test. Afterwards, I cried driving back to the office.
I was very brave during the cancer journey 7 years ago - did it all by myself. Somehow it hit me hard today, thinking I am doing this without my H. I think I felt vulnerable today because I was thinking about my H this morning, wondering what his agenda is and why he hasn't made the decision to work on himself and on our M. And why he has to take so long.
BTW, I don't know the result yet - wll be out in a couple of days.
