Jak and Matilda, I live walking distance from a library, and close to a bookstore.
My W and I continue to wrestle with domestic conflict--money, hygiene, and housecleaning. I'm trying to figure-out what she wants, as I get overwhelmed with her torrent of words and emotions. I think she's trying to lighten her load and expectations of herself, that she imposes on herself. She's quick to try and solve problems that I'm capable of solving (fixing my own computer), because she wants me to approach it at her pace. Communicating via email is helpful, as I can get to the root of her message and problem-solve with a response.
It's a struggle dealing with the emotional part of being yelled at, her dwelling on the past, and her sleeping elsewhere. Reading Buddhist articles and books helps me to manage emotions and plant positive thoughts in my mind. It's like going to church--it reminds you what's important in life, and helps keep a healthy perspective.
When she's having a tantrum I think that she hates me and feels trapped in a life she doesn't want. I think separation is around the corner. After she settles down, she wants to connect.
She's joined my studio for latin dance classes last week. We practiced dancing last week. I hope to continue practicing weekly.
She told me recently that she used to go out to restaurants so much to stay away from the house because she was overwhelmed by the clutter. I did not know this. Perhaps a positive way of looking at the domestic conflict, is that she's trying to face these issues, and it's better to hear her concerns (even if they're articulated harshly), than for her to continue avoidance patterns (which she may be doing to some extent with the sleeping elsewhere).
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
