Is this irony? If so, how is that helpful to his situation?
Originally Posted By: sgctxok
I would suggest right now that you stop the talk. Just work on body language right now. Mirror her. See if it keeps her calm.
There's a lot of information out there on mirroring - mostly in the realm of sales and interviewing for jobs. The problems with mirroring in these situations are pretty obvious: if the person you're mirroring figures out what you're doing, you are sunk. Also, if you are focusing on mirroring, your listening skills will be impaired.
Using mirroring with someone who knows you well, say, a spouse, and your chances that they will pick up the fact that you're using a "technique" on them are much greater. It's likely that, once caught, they will see you as someone who can't be trusted. If you've already got trust issues in your relationship, you've just asked for more trouble.
So, in summary, mirroring will: negatively affect your ability to listen; likely be seen by your spouse as peculiar, and even more likely, as a manipulative technique; and detract from your credibility, ultimately ending up as destructive to the hope of building any rapport between high-conflict spouses.
What's your justification for recommending mirroring? It seems to me, in my brief search of articles about it, to be an area fraught with controversy regarding its efficacy.
