I will try this again with a clearer head..help

[Dom R]

--- Disclaimer ---:

Lots of people who read this, will disagree on what I write. Probably even 80% of people who read this.
They will say, "that's not what **I** think marriage is about!"

This post is not for them. This post is specifically for Chevelle. And specifically because Chevelle is interested in "God's will for his marriage", and Chevelle is interested in what the Bible has to say about it.

If you dont believe in the bible... please move on.
If you do believe, but disagree on what I have to say about it... please keep your replies relevant, by replying with specific biblical references, on why you disagree.



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Wow... this is unfortunate.. .there are a multitude of translations, and you have about the least readable ones, for your particular case
Looks like you have the straight original king james version.

The first part of the Malachi passage, is more commonly translated as,
"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel,

The matthew 19:8 passage, could be put into more familiar english language as follows:

"God never intended for there to be divorce. But Moses allowed it, because of the hardness of your hearts".

Note that the "hardness of your hearts", refers to the betrayed spouse. Of an unwillingness to forgive so great a betrayal.
Thus, divorce is "allowed". However, it is not commanded, or even recommended, by the bible.
(Note that in matthew 19:7, they ask "why did moses command [divorce]? In 19:8, Jesus corrects them, by replacing "command", with "allow")

If anything, the entire book of Hosea, would seem to be a long encouragement against divorce, even in the case of infidelity.
Yes, his marriage is commonly taken as a parallel for God's faithfulness to "his people", when they turned away from him time and time again, and were "unfaithful" to God.
However, I would say that it is also a literal example of the faithfulness and self-sacrificing love God expects from someone who is married.

Is it a horrible, terrible ordeal, if you are betrayed to that degree? yes. Is it almost unbearable at times? yes.
Are you then supposed to bail out if it hurts too much?
no.
You made a sacred oath, before God, that you would always be loving and faithful to your wife, until death.
Do you remember saying at any time during that vow, ".... so long as my wife keeps her part"?

What makes a marriage vow unique in comparison to various "contracts"... is that it is NOT a "contract". It is NOT a "i'll be nice to you for as long as you are nice to me" business deal. There is no "If you stop being nice/considerate to me, the marriage is over". It is a promise before God, "I will be nice to you [reguardless of whether you are always nice to me]"

It is potentially the most difficult vow a human can ever make: a pledge to be completely unselfish, towards another specific person.


If your wife chooses to leave you... that will be on her head.
If, however, you choose to leave... that will be on your head.

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to go back to a more specific concern of yours...

Is that what God is telling me? "Leave this person to complete the trial, and then I will show you what true love is in a woman?"

How about you look at the things you think are "telling you" to divorce, and then examine where they are coming from?
I'm guessing that pretty much all of them are a direct result of actions, or choices, from your wife.

Your wife has free will. By definition, your wife's choices are NOT "from God", but from your wife.