well so far this weekend has been very painfull. the firt day i ran into some friends i used to work with at a bar and when I talked loud she cornered me afterwords and told me that when i talked loud it scared her and was a huge turn off. so i told her thank you and tried to move on...
the next day we went shoping for 4 hours. this was also painfull because she kept asking me what i likes to see on her, and then she woule explain how her new sala partner ( a guy she meet through a friend...saposedly just another friend) will like this to. thats just to damn much. its like shes punishing me, and i dont deserve that. well last night two of our friends stop by and she offers to give one a back rub. my wife hasent touched me in 4 months and to see her giving this guy a back run in a bikkini top whiloe i was in the next bed just killed me. all i want is to feel a little loved even for a moment. this was going to be a reconnect weekend but so far its been a weekend of her punishing me and stringing me along Im trtying to act as if and have a PMA. I realise that love is forgivness. i just was to at least feel a little inportent to my wife. im fighting for a memory. and im losssing hope.
