I am thinking of letting a Dobson letter fly. I am ready and prepared to suffer or enjoy the consequences.
Your thoughts required:
W is ready to go to L to take next steps so I want her to feel good about it. I am going to refine this very closly but here it is. She told me Thursday that she does not love me anymore.
Please send your comments.
Treeman
"Dearest Sally:
Thank you for the talk in my room Thursday morning. You have really helped me get to a different mindspace. I did not realize that you have been thinking of this for the past 20 years...it must have been terrible to carry that around for such a long time. I realize I have no right to assume how you feel, after all they are your feelings, not mine.
I do not want you back in our marriage if you are truly not "in love" with me. It is unfair to both of us.
I prefer that we are together. But at this point it sounds impossible. So, I will not stand in your way if you want to move on. I will no longer expect you to come back, and I don't want you to feel that you have to.
I hope that we will continue to, as always, have a deep friendship. I will always be there for you no matter what the issue.
I think it is a Last Resort technique and I don't know if I am ready for that yet. She has been texting me all day. She wanted to know why there was 350 buck taken out of the account today and I told her strippers where expensive. She got a good laugh out of that.
BT, I guy I work with went to a big youth soccer thing here in Richmond this weekend. Wonder if it was the same one.
I don't have a lot to offer but I would highly recommend the physical separation. I have been for a month now and I don't know if it will save my marriage but we certainly are getting along a lot better now.
BT - Hope you are having a blast with the kids in Richmond!
Talk about adjustment... a few weeks ago I was drinking, going out to dinner and playing poker until 4AM. Tonite - taking care of my daughter who came down with a cold! I probably will be asleep by 10. W called from FLA, she is sick and is trying to get on a flight home.
I went from Montclair's most eligible bachelor to nurse, landscaper, handyman and chef in record time!
That's ok, I am loving it! It feels great to be home!
Interesting observation.....
Do you notice how your W will let her guard down when you are physically separated? If you were home and made that crack about the strippers, would she have laughed or would the battle escalate.
BT - There may be a clue here.... maybe a few months of a trial separation may allow the anger to pass and put you 2 on the road to reconciliation. Just consider it a time out. That's what my W are saying.. We took a time out, needed a break, it's all good.
It is so funny when people come up to me in town and say... My god, you're back... where were you? I start smiling and say... "I can't talk about it."
Here are the rumors....
Witness protection Prison International Business Assignment Split for Maui
That's funny Fish. We are having a great time down here. I don't even miss the W. She has been acting very human lately. I don't know why. The real W will be back to normal when we get home I'm sure.
Think of your wife as the little girl in the Exorcist. When the priests were exorcising the demon from Regan there were brief pauses between horrific demonstrations of satan's power.
Fish, you have jumped out of the pond man. That is funny, but all so correct. It is so nice to get away and not think about things or at least think clearly. I am really working on acceptance. Accepting that I am a lot closer to D then recon.
Got home from S12 soccer in VA for the weekend. We had the GREATEST time. It is so nice to hang out with normal people and see how normal families interact.
Got home at 6 and had a nice dinner with W (Filet Mignon) and family. Nice conversation and then I headed off to my room to create more space and keep house nice and quite and easy. My goals for the next week are no fights or arguing. Let things fly by. Don't think to much and don't assume based on fear. Things can not be as bad as I think all the time.
New latest read: The Good Divorse (Ahrons) excellent
Well, one positive is we had a spectacular weekend!
Had a very nice morning. She asked me what I was reading and I said "the good divorse". She said nothing. She also announced that she was going out with the Society for Separated Woman" tonight for St Patty's. I was dumb enough to ask with whom but that was all.
Another day on the roller coasted but at least no Arguments.
