Out of the Blue?

[kturnernc]

Ok, NOW I need some advice... this weekend is Easter and I have the kids. It is the first holiday since the separation. Originally W was kind of agitated that I had the kids this weekend but then accepted it. Anyway, I was dropping the S off from some activities and the W surprised me with some interesting actions. First off, let me back up a small bit. When I was picking up the S the wife was acting strange. She always seems to act like she is walking on eggshells when I am there. Anyway, I took her aside and started talking about what was wrong and things that needed be taken care of. As stated in another post, I am trying to be more proactive rather than reactive. Anyway, I told her that there was no reason for her to be like she was acting hostile. Well it seems that she thinks that I am going to try and screw her over in this whole deal! HA, I have been nothing short of supportive and helpful during this whole thing. Anyway, I told her to look at me (she avoids eye contact for the most part during discussions) and when she did, I told her that she had to honestly agree with the fact that I loved the family and would not do anything to screw with that. She agreed on that. I do not feel that I slipped on this, as I did not tell her ILU to her.

Back to the confusing actions. Everytime that I am going to head over to the house to pick up stuff or kids, I start getting nervous due to the situation and wifes mood swings. When I dropped off the S, I walked in and the W asked me to stay and eat dinner. This was NOT something that I was prepared for. I declined politely and told her that I had some more stuff to finish at work before Monday. She had cooked meatloaf which happened to be one of my favorite dishes. I am not thinking that it was planned, just odd. Okay, so that was strange behavior #1. The second was a bit later when we were talking about Easter sunday. She told me that her mom or sister was having the whole family over for lunch and would I be able to drop the kids off over there. I, of course, agreed. But then she invited me to lunch with the family as well. Action #2. I really do not know what to do about that. I get along with her family fairly well, but I know that they are supportive of W's actions. I think the whole situation is going to be really uncomfortable on both sides. Either that or the whole family will pretend nothing is wrong or different from any other family get together.

I don't know what to do. W wants a D, yet wants to keep the family doing family things as normal. She is not really making it known around that we are separated except to some people. Right now I am leaning to dropping the kids off then heading out. I do not want the wife to be thinking that her life will be the exact same except for me staying at the house. I am just confused. I will talk to my therapist today during my session. But, it is confusing to say the least.

Sorry for the long winded post. I really do try to keep them short.