I was going to write something about how maybe I'm just fooling everyone. Maybe I'm just a manipulative, needy person and I've manipulated my W all these years to keep her with me. And that she has to detach from me, as she is saying, in order to be free of my manipulation.
Except that, for that to be true, wouldn't I have to have a pretty overpowering personality? Wouldn't I stop her from doing all the things she likes to do instead of encouraging her?
I think I was NEEDY at times and maybe came across that way, and that may be a form of manipulation, but not enough to be considered 'controlling'.
I guess I'm trying to understand why she suddenly 'had to detach', move to the guest bedroom, etc.
And when she said to me tonight that she 'could see that sometimes I was not doing as well as other times' I told her that watching my KIDS hurt has an EFFECT on me. I said I'm sorry you really don't care about how I feel so I won't expect any support from you.
Geeze, what does she expect? I'm supposed to be in this situation and not FEEL anything? Not react?
So, she HAS to detach. As she said quite clearly "This is how I have to do it". NO feelings when she said it. That's what 17 years of marriage, 22 years of relationship boils down to.
Maybe she was starting to feel the pain she's causing last weekend so she moved into the guest room. So she can detach.
Also, tonight when D12 was going to bed she cried and told W that she hated this, she wished she could fix it but she can't. W just told her she loved her and it would be ok.
Even when I spoke to W later about this, she showed no emotion. She is checked out. She saves her emotions for her friends.
