You said that she claims your are needy and insecure. Remember you can't control her and nothing you say will change her mind she will only respond to your actions. Respond to her complaints by GAL, Act as if, always be cheery and have a good attitude, give her space, and detach. If you can talk to a coach. She wants a strong and independant man. Work on becoming that man not just for your wife, but more importantly for yourself.

There is a lot of support here. Also see do's and don'ts. DBing requires a lot of patience. She will begin to see the changes in you and you will receive more than you expect out of DBing. Write as much as you need to. Best of luck!!!

Posts
Role Reversal(original)
WAW now LBS part I & II
WAW now LBS part III(current)
T: 9 yrs
M: 8 yrs
WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07
LBS: Sep 07-pres.