H is having affair after all

[Evie]

Hoooollly - LOL - ALL the girlie bits!!!! i'm tempted but don't think i could cope with the indignity and pain of it, plus it grows back to quickly, how often to you have to go? ha ha ha i am so LOL right now.

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That is where H trusts the W (or visa versa) with all his bad qualities, and his affair partner with all his good qualities. It is pure fantasy, but until they go through the process of taking back the qualities they "parked" in other people, they will not hear anything you have to say. He has all the answers.
So save your breath.
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You are sooo right about this, this is equal to the honeymoon period and i'm aware that if i react to him or her it will push them together even more and they may think they have a future. H is sooo angry with ME, he misconstrues everything i say and do. DB (and the happy pills)are showing me the way to not be reactive.

I also like the bit you wrote about OW having Low Self Esteem, I wouldn't have thought she did, but now looking at her life, something must have been missing and I DON't suffer from LSE, so it boosts my confidence even more to here you say that Holly, it makes me stronger actually. Also the bit about still been connected, is it b/c he is sh*t scared i'm about to wipe him out financially or b/c he is unsure he wants a life w/o me? Interesting.

Today I did react to h's anger (hadn't had a pill as wasn't expecting him to come in..). He dropped the boys off at t time, i wasn't expecting him to come into the house as i have quite clearly said i wanted space.... I had the DB website open on my computer (Sh*t) i couldn't get to the office quick enough to shut it down. A row ensued, it wasn't pleasant and i was upset, we rowed about the business and he said i wasn't telling him of my intentions.

I quickly sent off this email to H before he had the chance to email an angry email:

'' H,

xxxxxxxx (password for business)
yyyyyyyy (pasword for business)

Passwords weren't changed delibrately to avoid you logging on, the computer crashed on me last week, concidence i know, you are welcome to the passwords, i still have a problem logging on, but you'll see that when you try. I'm sorry you are angry and that you feel i am withholding info about the business, i'm not at all.

I was on a website reading about unfidelty when you came in, as i wasn't expecting you to come in I hadn't shut down the computer, you made me feel anxious.

Now i'm really upset by what has just been said, it's not what i want. Please try and make some allowances for me not been rational or calm, i feel that is unreasonable to expect that from me right now. I have asked for time and space and i feel i'm not getting that, and in the long run it's only making matters worse, every time i see you my feelings resurface. PLease leave me alone.

I will reiterate what i have said previously:

I have asked to have no communication with you unless urgent/boys for 4 weeks, when i'll reasses my feelings. I have said i will not be making any decisions right now, but have assured you that the business will continue as normal. i have also assured you that i will not keep the boys from you because they love you and my love for them outweighs my anger at you.

I will ask again that you please leave me alone, 1 email a day, any more and i won't read them''.


I received this reply:

i'm sorry for being angry - all I want is access to the business and all that is involved with the business - Once again I'm sorry for being angry

I have no wish to be angry at you what so ever - like you its not what I want.

What do I need to do with the Easter hat you gave me and when does it need to be ready???

H

since then i've had another 2 emails from H, i read 2 b/c the title said 'devasting news' - he said he had received some bad news from his dad today and just wanted to tell somebody. I did reply, and asked 'what? and why tell me? (I thought the worst thinking his dad was terminally ill), it wasn't news about his dad directly, and isn't relevant here, so i won't go into it and i haven't replied to his email.

I've now had another email, entitled 'Easter Timetable for the boys'. That can wait until tomorrow, b/c i'm clear and thought i had made it clear what was happening with child care over the Easter period.

Laters

X Evie