I know it's long but there are some things that just need to be said. I expect it to be a lot longer by the time I finish it. The real question will be when to give it to him.
I'm thinking of moving to the forum "I'm thinking about leaving" I know there's not as much traffic there but let's face it "piecing" really isn't the place for me.
I've started to accept the fact that d may be the only valid solution. I've been waiting for the better part of 15 years for h to actively participate in this r...it was always promised to get better and didn't then a crisis would come along and I (and others) would think that was what was needed to get him to change...it just hasn't happend. I cannot blame our problems on h's current drinking anymore than I could blame OW for our problems...who knows maybe a d is what he needs to wake himself up.
I have another c appointment on Tuesday, getting somethings done with different volunteer organizations I belong to so have let some things get behind around the house. Busy the begining of this week with those but plan to then get the house in order and get on a regular schedule with going to the gym.
Oldtimer...you are right a decision will be made by me and action taken before the calendar changes to 2009. I really cannot subject myself and my children to this anymore. They may get mad a me...they may suffer the intial shock but I think in short time they will reap the benefits of it. I know a statement that the children will reap benefits of a divorce may sound a horrible thought to some on this board but if you knew my whole sit and the day to day of our lives here you may understand that d may be what is needed to have h step up to the plate as daddy. What will be different is that I will not change my mind once I take that route...there will be no turning back. Once I decide enough is enough it will be over and I'm at the point of enough is enou (yes you see there are just two letters away from being done). I'm not going to be vicious or shady about it but I need to look out for the best interest of my children.
