Well my response to my H's texts were probably too pursuing because he has stopped sending me his crazy drunk texts.
He is probably out having the time of his life partying hard with out even thinking about me at all now that he knows that I still love him. It's like once he knows he can still have me, it seems to reassure him that he can go out and do what he is doing. I feel like I am his security blanket.
I often get afraid of not returning his calls since he gets very angry when I dont. I constantly don't know how to respond correctly to his childish games or if I should at all.
I ran into my Brother in law last night when all of our friends went out to watch a band play at a local bar. He was nice to me and we chatted for a minute. I was very sad last night and I said to him, that I have lost them all (in regards to his family) since his parents and sister no longer call to check in on me or to say hi. He said that I havent lost him and he will always be my friend. After our conversation I just lost it and started crying to a girlfriend of mine. I am so embarrased that I was crying so hard out in public. My brother in law stood next to us and looked very sad and concerned for me.
Anyways, people cheered me up and when the band started playing one of our guy friends asked me to dance. I ended up dancing all night long after that with about 5 other single guy friends that we all know. It was a blast.
I often feel like all the guys that I know that are single are all hitting on me and trying to impress me to win a date. Many of them come right out and tell me that they want me. I also had another single guy friend of my H's and mine call me this week to come hang out alone with him, so I brought a friend but he was still hitting on me.
I feel so trapped, every one of them tells me I am the perfect women and that my H is psycho for leaving me. I think that they all think that since I am out having fun and doing many GAL activities that I am on the rebound when really I am just out trying to have fun and being myself. I dont know how to handle it, especially since I am not interested in any of them in that way.
I feel so messed up from all of this, I dont know how to deal with my broken heart. This is tearing me apart. TIPPER
