I don't know what advice you want, really. You are doing the very best you can. I can only tell you to let him be a fool. Let him be an idiot. Be there for you and your kids (sorry, can't remember if you have more than one D). I feel for you so much. I am glad the facebook thing was a misunderstanding.
My H is far removed as well. Its hard to not be included in their new life.
