Purr has lost all hope. WAW/ MLC Second Thread

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Purr... I wouldnt look into selling the house just yet, you have enough on your mind and it might depress you? Just leave it as is (if you can afford it for now) unless she says anything to the contrary. Also, you have had a massive change, having to leave your home is another massive change, so hold off on that?

As for her not expressing any hope..you have been in MC with her, is it ALL about breaking up? What about some of her emotion she was showing after that one session? And emailing you after the next? She may well seem to be enjoying her time alone right now and its a shame you arent getting any clue otherwise, but I also thought my BF was enjoying being single. He was out alot, playing sport, drinking alot, booking holidays..turns out he has severe depression and was nearly suicidal. I'm just saying, appearances can be deceptive! I'm sure she isnt in that bad a place, but on the other hand, if she was struggling at all, I bet she wouldnt let you know that. Are there no mutual friends you have that you can sound out just a teeny bit, to get some inside info? I saw my BF best friends W, because I wanted to, but I suspected she would be the only person who could tell me anything, and she did, it helped give me a little boost to keep going. Is there noone you can email or run into and catch up with? Althuogh I guess you dont want to risk upsetting your W.

I identify with what you say about where did that loving close connection of just a few months ago go? Its like it went up in smoke.

Ok..well, what about 180s? Have you thught of that, can you post suggestions here as to what may have been amiss between you, or was it all about her unhappiness?

What about, if you can afford it, having a session with a DB coach to get their perspective, if you feel at the end of your rope? Or thiking of different approaches?

For example, what would the effect on yuor W be if you werent there on the end of the email or phone next time she has a work problem?? If you went a bit dark? You arent hearing from her at the moment, as she is away and has a very busy schedule you said, so its easy for her to put you out of her mind (but I bet you arent).

The fact that you are in MC is a lifeline, it may be fraying fast but its something...I would say, keep going. Thinking of you, I was looking out for your thread ! I hope some others come up with some help too.

Ali x
___________________
Me: 37
H: 34
T: 9 years
ILYBINILWY: 2 Nov 07
Own apartment: 26 Jan 08
Depression confirmed!