My old thread is locked, so am starting this new one with the same title as my last thread I guess. H was supposed to move out today, but told me last night he wasn't going to move out yet before my rehearsal but will move out later this week or something. Then after my rehearsal last night he said he may or may not move out today he doesn't know?!?
He's been gone all day today since before I woke up at 8:30, at OW's of course, so over 4 hours now. I guess he decided he is not moving out today or can't for whatever reason, although he is so mixed up maybe he will move out after spending the day with her, but I wouldn't think so. So I guess he is moving out later this week. I am actually disappointed, b/c I was depressed all day yesterday and now will have to go through that again prob. later this week! I'm also getting tired of living with an H that is hung up on another woman, texting her frequently, depressed, etc. I do think I deserve better!!! Karen
Karen, Ugggg! BIG hugs from me... He didn't move out today, but may later this week! How arrogantly inconsiderate of your feelings. But then that's been how it's been for you. I wonder why he didn't do it today? It makes me wonder if he really is going to do at all. Maybe his plans are falling apart.
You mentioned that he is depressed? If he is depressed he is delusional if he thinks moving out and being with OW is going to make him happy. Happiness starts with each of us, we can't depend on someone else for that.
I know you haven't seen much of him lately. Perhaps you can keep up that trend... pretend that he is already gone. For all intents and purposes he already is.
But I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's so tough.
You do. Maybe you should make up his mind FOR him, since he can't seem to make it up for himself, and when he comes home, he should find all of his chit out on the lawn and the locks changed.
Puppy, that is a tempting idea, but I am too nice!!! H is still here, & last he told me plans on maybe leaving sometime later this week. I wonder if he is now realizing that he has not had it so bad, with me basically taking care of him and the kids, but he leading a single life. Yesterday he was gone for about 12 hours with OW, and then came home and texted with her! so they are still on it looks like.
I do think H will move out soon because OW will probably insist on it if she notices he is dragging his feet too much. Joie, b/w my schedule and H visiting OW, I really don't see him that much so I guess it's not a big deal. I am tired of the texting though! You would think H would get tired of the non-stop texting too eventually; he has always been a really active, independent guy, but who knows??? Karen
Hi puppy! I totally agree with you. Give him one more chance to set a date, and tell him he has to keep it. Please consider this!!!
When H and I finally agreed he was moving out (or should I say, he finally agreed, after months of me telling him to go..lol), he wanted to stay one 'extra' night because he was tired. I told him I had my mind set, and he needs to go. That it was best for all of us.
You do deserve so much more. Believe me, I am enjoying the freedom of H being out of my face with his 21 yr old attitude/constant texting/everything else. Miss him? Totally. But this is the best of 2 hard roads for me (him living with me or not).
Guess what? H just moved out! He came back from taking the kids to a movie and did it without giving me a minute's notice. Typical for him of course! I helped him move out as much as I could.
I am feeling glad H is out b/c of the way he was treating me and mad at H for breaking up our family, and I'm a little bit teary but I don't even know why when H clearly doesn't seem to love or care for me at all. He is 100% convinced that his new life will be wonderful, etc, no sadness from him at all; he was acting happier than I have seen him in the last month or two. I kept up a happy face when he was here, showed/felt no sadness at all, so I was a great DB trooper I think. Didn't cry until now!
Cry it out sister. Don't fight it, just let it happen, then let it pass. You deserve better treatment, and freedom from his spew/bad moods/OW junk.
I'm in Week 3 of H being gone. Its hard, just tackle it every day, and try your best not to make your face time with him awkward. When he comes around, make a big deal "Dad's here!", then give him space to be with the kids.
My h is the same except he moved out literally 3 days after dropping the bomb, I did not see it coming. When my h walked out I thought I would never stop crying and someone said to me that the crying gets less and the sad moments as well. I did not believe them but 5 months down the line it is true. The best advice I can give is to cry when you need to, it really lets you deal with your emotions but don't cry infront of him (they just want to get up and run).
As far as the awkward visits - they are difficult. I still have not worked out which is best...stay home or leave d with him when he comes. He likes the 3 of us to be together so when he visits he sticks around me, but during the week he does not send me one message, phone call or email. I tried going out when he visits but then i feel like a missed an opportunity to be near him. This is the hardest part - seeing him and remembering good times and being a family but it is not real. You will find your best way to cope but it will take time.
LWB, how has it been going for you these 3 weeks? Does it get easier? Do you think H will ever have any regrets, sadness, etc.? Weird he was acting so happy when he is leaving the kids too, you know? And I have been nothing but nice to him, cooking, cleaning, etc. so don't understand all the happiness--I guess he just sees me as stopping him from being with OW 24/7? ...Karen
I think the visits will not be a big issue. H emailed me his schedule and he wants to visit the kids 2 nights a week when I will be gone, and said he will pick them up on Sunday and apparently take them somewhere so he really seems to be avoiding me 100%. Why such avoiding behavior (I'm really a nice person, really!) and what should I do about that, just go with that and avoid him as well? Karen
