H is having affair after all

[Holly06]

yes, all the girl bits.

Nuff said.


Good attitude about your life. These early days, it is hard to get to ok, you keep getting more bad news. It does get better!
Hope is a personal thing, I won't tell you how to feel.
I was and am very hopeful, but it's not for everyone.

James O'Connell is an author who wrote (in my mind) the definitive work on MLC. He tells it from a very clinical, but the one in MLC's point of view.
You ever hear of Carl Jung? He is a contemporary of Freud, different philosophy, but he is the one who influences O'Connell, his book was written in 1980, and is now out of print.
I went to the local university and found it there.
You are not ready for it yet, but it is out there, and the title is something like, Men and Midlife Crisis..... like they all are!!!!

He is the one who sheds light on what these guys are feeling, and brings an important concept to the table, called "projection". That is where H trusts the W (or visa versa) with all his bad qualities, and his affair partner with all his good qualities. It is pure fantasy, but until they go through the process of taking back the qualities they "parked" in other people, they will not hear anything you have to say. He has all the answers.
So save your breath.

Most OW have a low self esteem and low frequency of morals. This is a match to H self esteem and morals, and they seem like a soul mate. That and they do not have history and with that person and they are willing and able to take H side of all the rotten things that happen to him, and bingo! You have a temporary soul mate.

Have you heard the saying " believe nothing what you hear from H mouth and only 1/2 of his actions?"
His words are like Charlie Brown's teacher, just noise.
Now his actions, the constant calling and texts, tell me he is still very much connected to you, and he is unsure if he wants a life without you.
So enjoy the attention of his calls and contacts, but only take the ones that are within your boundary. Just know that it is a positive, like a puppy dog that won't stop licking you. It is love, but enough already!!!!
Cheers,
Hoooollly