I am inclined to agree with JMW. God works on his own schedule. This is a good lesson in patience for us all. All we can do is pray for our spouse's salvation. You say that you talk about your daily walk with her. That is great. Hopefully she will see the changes that you are making and what God is doing in your life. You could be a good example for her. As we know actions speak louder than words.
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
I am home waiting on the H hand and foot. He seems to be appreciative. If he was thinking that he could do it on his own I don't see how he would have. He is in a lot of pain, doesn't get up much and needs help the few times a day he does. I am trying my best to take advantage of this opportunity by being upbeat and helping out as much as I can, but it is difficult when the majority of his time is spent sleeping. I find myself wanting to hug and kiss him when I see him in pain. Whether or not this makes a difference, and I hope that it will, I am blessed to have the opportunity to take of him and show him I care. How is everyone, JMW, JAW, JAY?
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
doing great HiC and I know how it feels wanting to hug/kiss the WA. One day...had a another positive conversation with WAW yesterday. All about 5D clothes but it was good. She was friendly throughout and I heard the sweetness in her voice. All positive. Validated her a couple times. Funny, I even validated her when she said,"if I were you I would go shopping tommorrow then go...(she caught herself and then continued)well you do what you want." And I piped back that "sounds like a great idea"...lol validated her controlling me...lmao...whole conversation in my solution journal. No us and nothing about me specifically but I adhered to my goals and it was definitely non-negative. Just a good conversation. Need some more of those.
I think it is great he is receptive to you waiting on him hand and foot...really shows me something. Just be strong. You know he appreciates it. I can think of nothing more loving than you taking care of him. And anyone that wants you to do that would feel the same...just my thought.
Sounds like things are coming along nicely. It seems quite positive that she found herself making input regarding your plans. I am very happy for you! As always, thank you for the encouragement. You are doing great.
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
Hello hopeful, i am also a WAW who wishes now that i hadn't. In addition i have a PA (bomb dropped early Jan08), H in reaction has a PA too now and refuses to see a counselor as he wants to 'live his PA fully'. Learning that he had a PA provoked devastating emotional turmoil for me, i had to admit to myself that i cared far more for him than i would admit, after years of convincing myself that he was a great guy (and i have always thought that i couldn't find anyone better) but i wasn't 'in love' with him. I have ordered DR (although posts here seem to indicate that it doesn't really target WAS) and i'm trying to figure out what to do next. One obvious action, I presume, is to end my PA but OM is of great support to me since he's also a WAS (his kids S3 with Hunter Syndrome/D5) and also has desires to rebuild his R. Since H wants to continue his PA i'm terrified of ending mine and ending up all alone with no hope of return of H. Yet i know that i can't start mending if i keep a PA! What a mess - i see my kids on weekends (they are with H) and cry uncontrollably often, the kids end up consoling me which i'm sure is traumatic to them.
Sorry you find yourself here. DR has been increadibly helpful to me as the WAW. I hope that I can provide you with support as I too felt that I was married to a great guy who I no longer had love for. In my sitch I realize that I was only fooling myself.
Everyone on this board is understanding and supportive. I certainly understand not wanting to be alone. I miss my marriage and my husband, but I am fighting for my marriage and I know that no matter what happens I know that I am doing everything I can to save my marriage with no regrets. I encourage you to take that leap and end your PA. As I said WE are all here to support you.
Keep strong and keep your head up!
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
Thank you for your encouragement. I always appreciate it. Have a question for ya. Thursday, it will be 2 weeks since last DB coaching session. Coach said to contact in a couple weeks or when something is different. For about 4 weeks, all conversations have been non-negative or positive and no D/get stuff talk. She is not calling for a non-reason. Only wrt 5D or her trip. She has also sent 2-3 texts lately that ask a question and for me to respond by calling her. Think that is interesting could text response but she asks me to call with response. Anyhow, what is your opinion? Is their anything different enough to warrant a coach call? Do I wait a bit more? Do I call to find out if I need to do something different? What is your opinion? I know you've kept up with my sitch a bit and value your opinion. Thanks again.
PU/5D w/ Pink shirt thing in my journal if you want to read...short version - positive, calm, confident, non-chalant, friendly, etc...lol
thanks again...gl2u...hope 'nursing' him back to health is going well for you.
So good to hear that you get to spend so much time with him. I am so envious and HAPPY for you!
My sitch is not as good. My WAW and I both have MySpace accounts. Lately I have been really upbeat with her and I noticed today that she took me off her MySpace account as a friend. It also looks like she removed all of my family members as friends. On her MySpace page it says, "I am suspicious." Then she has down for her mood that she is irritated. I know both those comments are in reference to me. I think she is suspicious of me being so upbeat. It is so confusing. I asked her to lunch today. I probably shouldn't have done that. I have been dong the LRT; but I am worried about her.
That is an odd reaction to your attitude lately. Let her be suspicious and try not to worry so much about her. I know that it is difficult and easier said than done. You can only control your actions. Keep on being upbeat, doing the LRT, and GAL.
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
Anyhow, what is your opinion? Is their anything different enough to warrant a coach call? Do I wait a bit more? Do I call to find out if I need to do something different? What is your opinion?
It sounds as if things are progressing quite nicely in your sitch and are still evolving. I am so happy for you. I prefer to contact my coach when the techniques that I am using haven't resulted in any change or progress. With that being said I would say there is no need to contact your coach at this point. Continue to stay focused and I know you will.
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
