Well, ONCE AGAIN, this defies all logic and/or explanation. I can't wait for my next coaching call!

W called me 2 or 3 times during the morning to say she was running late, and to give me an update on when she would be over.

"Take your time, there's no rush" was all I said.

When she arrived, I was sitting in the sunroom reading, music was playing...she was in good spirits...hug and kiss.
We did a few small chores together, then she said "I could use a glass of wine". So I opened a bottle, then we just sat on the couch and talked...and talked...and talked.

The same dynamic started. She said..."MM, when I am with you, I feel soooo good. I see your changes and my changes, and I see how good we can be. Then the next day I start 2nd-guessing everything again. It drives me nuts."

So here's what I said to her.

"Think of yourself as a huge ship. You have left the broken-down home port and are heading full steam ahead to somewhere you hope is better, maybe you only heard it was better, but it's a bit of an unknown. It's been underway for a long time and you are halfway to your destination. However, now you have noticed that the place you left has changed while you've been gone. Now it might be everything you dreamed you wanted. You decide you want to check it out. But that entails turning this big ship around. It has momentum, and it is really huge....I think that is where you are right now, turning the ship around, and it's hard".

I know, it's a bit wordy and corny, but I really said all that to her. She loved it. She said wow, what a great analogy...it just takes time to turn the ship around.

I said "That's right...so take your time. There is no rush on any of this".

We killed the bottle of wine, watched a movie, ordered pizza, and ended up in bed <insert x-rated activities here> and she did end up spending the night after all.

We had breakfast and a pot of coffee, watched the sun rise, and talked a bit. I asked her how she felt this morning, "I don't know", she said. I said, "well I'm not pushing you for anything at all...just take your time". She nodded.

She left about 15 minutes ago, and I don't even feel sad. This will work out as it should, and I simply enjoyed spending the time with her.