I have thought a lot about this OW that my H had an A with. Seeing her picture helped my self esteem in one way (she wasn't young,pretty or slim). The A hurt my self esteem. I don't understand why women screw around with married men. If a man say "I am married,but....." A woman shouldn't wait to hear what is coming after that "but"- if she is smart she will run the other way. I feel that a woman who screws around with a married man deserves no sympathy when she gets hurt. I think she is just asking for it. Are they so desperate for a man or so desperate for "love" that they just don't care if a man is married or not? Or do they just like the thrill of "getting" some other woman's man? Which ever it is I don't feel sorry for them at all. I know my H "picked" her up at a club but he told her right from the beginning he was married but he told his a sad tale about how unhappy he was (and I am really not sure what other bulls**t he handed her). She evidently believed every word out of his mouth. Then after he met her and in April of 2000 he didn't see her again until he started the PA with her in Nov. 2000 (she lives in another state). She emailed him and called him at work from April until Nov. Told him she enjoyed talking with him and dancing with him and how much fun he was. She really "stroked" his ego. So I believe that even though he started it by "picking" her up in the club,she "chased" him. I have a lot of anger toward her. The anger at my H was brief -I was more hurt by his actions. Guess I transferred the anger from him to her. Anyway, I just can't find it in my heart to have any sympathy at all for the XOW. She got hurt...too bad...I got hurt a zillion times worse!! She asked for it,I didn't. If your H drops the OW you should feel confident that he didn't love her. Men "use" OW to escape their problems.They think that another woman can give him what he feels like he isn't getting from his W. Yes,sometimes they "think" they love them. And somtimes they leave their W for the OW only to discover later that they didn't really love her and wnat the W back. I know that had my H loved this woman or even had any feelings for her,he would have left me for her. If your H is home with you and trying to fix the problems and trying to make it up to you that he cheated you are fortunate. I thank God everyday that we were able to work everything out and stay together. It takes a long time for the pain to ease,it takes a long time to trust again and it takes a long time to get the thoughts of the OW out of your mind. The first two I have accomplished after a year and 2 months. The third I am still working on and it is getting better. Hang in there and and take things one day and one step at a time. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!! Pfroglady