Quoting Jackie:
You sound like you have your head on your shoulders, and that is giving me strenght to be more patient in my own sitch--thanks.
Yea, but sometimes I catch myself wondering its screwed on right tho? I guess I just come for the school of "never give up hope"...

Jethro, you have always amazed me with your preceptions! There has been another shift this weekend ... for the better ... again. In trying to understand why (and there seems to be many plausable theories), I starting to entertain the possibliity that W's journal may be a means for her to deal with her feelings for OM and release them, let them go, so she can move on to be happy in our M ... either that or setting myself up big time?!

Big-J, I haven't read the book you mentioned, but I really like your suggestion alot. Thanks Man! Maybe, it would help alot if my theory above is true.

Had a really good weekend, despite a glitch of sorts. After the celebration of D17's graduation, W seemed a little down. When I inquired, she said it was a very emotional day. At first, she said it was because her side of the family didn't show. Later, when we were having a quiet moment and sitting close together, she mentioned it was emotional too because while W & I split up to get pictures of the ceremony from different angles, she "bumped" into OM (his son was graduating too). I asked if she spoke to him. She replied we said "Hi". I was gazing in her eyes when she said that. I felt myself just freeze up ... I didn't know how to react ... I felt dumbfounded ... and became frantic that my expression would come across that way. I felt like it was a rare oppurtunity but to do what? I didn't know what to ask. I tried to form a question, but she didn't understand it ... of course not, I did even know what I was trying to ask, so I dropped it and validated what she said about the day being emotional, by saying I'm sorry that the day was rough on her. So Jethro, I guess that book could have helped me with this. Now I keep wondering why it is she even mentioned running into OM?

Sunday, we all went shopping again. This time in Kingston. No luck on HP book yet, but D17 stopped by later and said she knew of a place she can pick it up at. Also, W found the Jeep she wants! Its yellow with a soft top with all the options included that she wants, but the dealership was closed. My W made the comment that it wasn't meant to be for her to have what she wants. I told her I will do what I can. I suggested she call them on Monday and find out how late they're open to. I would see if I can get out of work early. However, another complication came into being, in that Monday was the deadline for the labor contract in effect (union shop). There was a downturn on Monday in the prospects of having the new contract ratified, which would mean 12 hour shifts for me for the next couple of weeks, let alone getting out early on Monday. But I did get off work on time and we went and bought her Jeep. Scheduled to pick it up on Saturday. (BTW, contract was ratified, so no long hours of work for me ... yea!!)

After W's mention of running into OM, there has been a shift in her coming back to me both physically and emotionally, but I find myself not putting much faith into it. I can't help but think this is just another hump on the rollercoaster ride before the next dip. Afterall, what is reason behind this shift. Is it because she getting the Jeep? Getting her a kitten last year also had a similar softening effect or could be some more, like she came to some resolution over OM or me?

I guess only time will tell?

'til later,
KAW