Quote: Last year when she felt I would never change my ways, so she had no problem with telling me she wanted out. ... but now, I'm no longer the bad guy in R. I have addressed all of the things she saw wrong with me. Not saying I'm perfect, but she has recognized my willingness to make the effort to work on them continuously. So the reason this M will fail at this point is not because of me, but will a be on her. I don't know if she is willing to bear that burden. It is a tremendous amount of guilt. That's why I feel she wants me to open the door and I'm not gonna make it that easy on her.
Okay...I wanted to go somewhere with this info.
So, I think it's safe to say that your W isn't in full WAW-mode yet. Because of your changes and such, she's more on the fence this time around. It is my humble opinion that when our Ses are operating from "on the fence," they are more "open" to hearing certain types of information that might make them swing from one side to the other. In fact, we both know that they are plagued by the "should I/shouldn't I" demons.
In this vein, KAW, I have a rather odd suggestion, and you can tell me if it might work. In fact, it is based on Bridget's comment about YOU leaving a journal out. Here goes: What if you were to "accidentally" leave out a book? More specifically, "After the Affair?" Not sure you read it, but I suggest this one because it offers the WAS tools to get over the OP. Since she "knows" you snoop, you leaving this out might make her want to snoop. In fact, since her depression sends her to bed often, leave the darn thing in the bedroom so she sees it constantly.
I know it's a bit unorthodox, but who knows... She's on the fence and likely searching for answers to move one way or the other. Why not provide these answers to her???
