You guys are great!! Such great responses, I read them a couple of times.
Not much new to report between W & I, and that's mostly because I haven't been around W all that much lately. Last week, we checked out our central air before the HOT weather struck and found out it had a problem. Its taken until yesterday for a service man to show up, but didn't have the parts needed, so AC was still out. Wednesday was hot, but she did make me dinner and sat at the table with me while I ate. I suggested going to the movies to cool down. She didn't want to and D9 wasn't up to it, so I said maybe we can do it tomorrow night. She said just take your D9. I said, "Very well." It was the last day of school, so W had a lot to talk about her day and the changes they're looking to make for next year. Afterwards, we talk about Jeep accessories and I showed her some catalogs I had (I have a 4 x 4 pickup with some extras) ... at times looking at the same book sitting closer to each other than in quite a while.
Thursday, I came home to W laying in bed (it was HOT) and nothing prepped for dinner. So I grabbed the newspaper and looked up movie times. I suggested we go out for dinner and then some shopping until movie time. W declined again, so I called D9 in from outside and asked if she wanted to go. She said yes, so I told her to clean up and get ready. I change into something more comfortable. The whole time W was quiet. When ready to go, I kissed W on the forehead goodbye. D9 and I had a great time! After MckyD's, picked up some SpongeBob B-day party supplies and saw "Little Nemo". When we got home W was asleep. Now that school is out, W is not up when I get ready for work, so I gave her another peck goodbye and off I went.
Tomorrow, D17 graduates!! so it will be an all day celebration. ... and then Sunday probably back to the HP book hunt. So I'm busy doing things that are fun and it has helped keep me from focusing so much on what W is doing or thinking.
Quoting Bridget: Step two -- hee hee -- get yourself a journal and write torrid things in it -- then hide it real quick when W walks in the room. That ought to get her attention.
Bridget, that just cracked me up! Thanks for the laugh, but I wonder ...
Quoting twilight zone: At what point, after giving her all this time and space without meaningful improvement on her part, does your behavior amount to enabling?
That's a good question, but ya know, I discovered only recently that there things about me that contributed to her unhappiness for eight years that my W did tell me about and I didn't take it seriously enough. So I guess I owe her a bit more time. I also am hoping that in continuing to seek what works will keep changing my behavoir enough that it won't be considered enabling, but as she continues to make her choices that push her futher away, then I will show I'm willing to move on without her. In the end, she won't have it both ways. Any broach about it now I believe will only cause her to choose against me.
Quoting Jackie: did you find the HP book? I got mine at a BJs, do you have any wholesale clubs around? The book was good!
Not yet, hope to pick up the hunt again on Sunday. No clubs in our area, but some across the river about an hour away. Not a member tho. Won't be going enough to make it worthwhile. Was good?! Does that mean you gone thru all 870 pages already? (that's what the review said it was)
Quoting jethro: I think, in some ways (as I've suggested before), your W never had the opportunity to see what being with the OM was really like...never really had the fantasy live and then die... Heck, my W's A lasted at least a year. So, what to do...what to do...
I hope that was not leading to maybe she should find out what it would be like with OM? ... for a year?...
Jethro, I'm bustin' your chops here... I know that's not where you were going with that, and believe me that thought has been in the back of my mind since she told me it because of OM's W that they stopped seeing each other last year. I never really did resolve how to handle that properly and may now be why its comin' back to haunt me now.
Quoting jethro: What have been your thoughts lately on trying to handle this, KAW? Were you planning on going with the status quo for now? Do you have a timetable? Where is your tolerence level right now?
You mean I'm suppose to have a gameplan? I really don't have specific answers right now. Right now, what I do know is that I was able to confirm that no matter what she tries, she feels I will always take her back. So I working on what I can do to start changing that and go from there...
Quoting jethro: KAW, why do you think she is staying right now?
Last year when she felt I would never change my ways, so she had no problem with telling me she wanted out. ... but now, I'm no longer the bad guy in R. I have addressed all of the things she saw wrong with me. Not saying I'm perfect, but she has recognized my willingness to make the effort to work on them continuously. So the reason this M will fail at this point is not because of me, but will a be on her. I don't know if she is willing to bear that burden. It is a tremendous amount of guilt. That's why I feel she wants me to open the door and I'm not gonna make it that easy on her.
rjd, ll, bridget, t-zone, lettie, jackie, spitfire, jethro .... thanks all for helping me stay the course.
Such great responses, I read them a couple of times.
Thanks for the laugh, but I wonder ...
I know that's not where you were going with that, and believe me that thought has been in the back of my mind since she told me it because of OM's W that they stopped seeing each other last year. I never really did resolve how to handle that properly and may now be why its comin' back to haunt me now. 
