I don't know if you remember me but you, Z, and Andy helped me through. I have been mostly lurking lately but your sitch caught my attention. I feel very bad for what your W is doing. She is not thinking clearly and is hurting everyone around her and the most. I believed my W lies for too long and snooped to find the "truth". I didn't want to be a "fool" anymore than you do. I struggle everyday wondering why is she still here. My W OM were not as "in your face" as yours but looking back the signs say it wasn't too much different. I am rambling but what I want to say is make sure she stays for love. I now believe I "forced" my W to stay and that was a mistake. The way I handled things isn't giving me a strong answer on what our R consists of. I question why I am still M to her almost daily. Why did I tolerate the lies and embarassment? I still don't know. The point is don't reveal your hand to get her to stay. Either keep quiet and use time to your advantage or tell her what you know and ask her what she would like you to do about it.
I snooped too and it leads to "knowing too much" and sacrificing our standards and morals to remain with our S. My snooping has caused me to not want my W and only my children are keeping me here (I am hoping my feelings will change soon.) We both have our entire families to consider in the equation not just ourselves. However, I will not completely sacrifice myself and my dignity for anyone. My writing is terrible today and I hope I am not confusing matters. You know what you can handle and where you want to be long term so just don't lose sight of that.
