Hey Sue, Yea, it scares her, but in the context that she believes its still not enough for her. She feels she is still missing out on something even more important. Frankly, I think I've now given all I can and have nothing else to give and am waning.
I discovered this morning, she was with OM on Monday afternoon, am pretty sure it was physical too, along with the written desire to arrange to spen more time with him over the summer. So what was all the interaction with me about? and she kept wanting to give me hugs and holding my hand last night. I'm really taken aback with this last bit of information. I don't know if I can deal with knowing she had both of us on the same day!
I'm really at a loss as to where to go from here. Up to now, I've basically taken Zebra's approach of "its none of my business."
Actually, I started that approach before even knowing about DB last year and was in despair from the bomb of both A & D in the same night. I now believe I made a terrible mistake! I told her I didn't want to lose her and that I was willing to share her if that is what it would take to keep her, however, I didn't want to know anything about it. Now I feel those words are coming back to haunt me!!!
While successful as far as dealing with W directly as far as acting "as-if" nothing is happening, I can't seem to let go enough to stop from snooping and wondering if I'm really being a fool here. I'm feeling less and less like this is going to work.
DB, thanks for the kind words, but I feel it doesn't compare to what you are going thru this week. I don't know if I have the strength to face with the kind of composure you have, the imminent departure annouced by your W this week. I sure wish I did!! I wish I had the nerve to show her the door right now! I don't think it would take that long for her to realize it was all a big mistake, but would she come back because she will end up with less otherwise or would she come back because she loves me? I don't think I could accept her back if the answer is the former and with that part of the question always looming in the back of my mind, I don't believe I would ever trust it would be the the latter. That's why up to now, I have taken the stance, she needs to make her choice before considering leaving the M, because I don't think I could accept why she would come back as being good enough to want to continue living with this woman.
I want off this ride, afterall I didn't ask to be on it this time!
So what was all the interaction with me about? 
and she kept wanting to give me hugs and holding my hand last night. I'm really taken aback with this last bit of information. I don't know if I can deal with knowing she had both of us on the same day! 
I wish I had the nerve to show her the door right now! I don't think it would take that long for her to realize it was all a big mistake, but would she come back because she will end up with less otherwise or would she come back because she loves me? I don't think I could accept her back if the answer is the former and with that part of the question always looming in the back of my mind, I don't believe I would ever trust it would be the the latter. That's why up to now, I have taken the stance, she needs to make her choice before considering leaving the M, because I don't think I could accept why she would come back as being good enough to want to continue living with this woman.
