Quote: Anyway, she went into the shower and I did it again! (I hadn't read any of your posts til I came in to work this morning) She wrote, she feels she has to say goodbye to OM, but each time she talks to him, her feeling for him get in the way. She went on with ... "I'm married to a wonderful, loving, caring man and all I can think about is cheating on him! I must be CRAZY!"
Sounds like maybe your W is coming to her own conclusions? You know, when it comes down to it, everything is about changing ourselves to better our situations. We come to this conclusion for ourselves (thanks to DR), but have to wait for our Ses to do the same. And our backing off makes it easier for them to have this self-examination.
I always talk about this process... Well, I believe self-examination lies at the the crux of it. When it really kicks in is when changes can be made. The fact that she's even questioning what she's thinking is opportunity for change. I hope that this time, the momentum of her thoughts will take her in the right direction.
KAW, IM(very)HO, for her it's the depression. Seems she feels trapped with the depression and, as a result, her perceived dependence upon you for support. I believe if she can come to the conclusion that she needs to fight the depression, then she will rid herself of this self-doubt about your R.
So, how to get her to evaluate this???
Have you guys ever talked about what it took for you to deal with her A, what things you read, where you got your inspiration, and such? I know you have to walk the dependence tightrope, but I was just wondering if you could perhaps offer some VERY subtle guidance here. Perhaps take the perspective of fighting to rid her of her depression rather than fighting for your R? I know, the tightrope...
