Not much is up. W has been pretty distant lately so I been letting her be. So I'm here trying to catch up a bit from home since a virus knocked out my computer at work over the last couple of days.
Sure been a lot of activity on this forum and WOW lotsa support here and I want to thank you all, plus welcome some of my newest neighbors. Some inspirational stuff written here lately and has a refreshing effect.
It also feels good to be validated about some of my more recent thoughts lately. Some of it about showing her the door. and as Sue has mentioned, I wonder if she might be leaving her journal out on purpose? Is it a cry for help or wanting to be discovered so I would want to D her?
Not sure what I want to do yet. Thoughts have been racing thru my mind. I'm trying to come up with a plan A, B, & C. First I think I'll wait until Father's Day to she what she may do. Then I might be able to approach her about not feeling as if I'm first rate with her and see where that leads. If she stays out over a weekend, I'm consider taking an impromtu vacation with D9 so that she will return to an empty house with no word as to where we are. Maybe visit my folks for a week or two whether that be in Myrtle Beach or Vermont. That would definately shake her up.
One thing is for sure! I know for sure it would be a big mistake for her to pursue this fantasy, but to be honest if she decides to do so, I don't feel I can continue being M to her. By the time she realizes it was the wrong thing to do, it will be to late, because I don't believe I would want her back. PERIOD. Like you guys have pointed out, I'm her rock, her security blanket. I don't want to be thought of as a blanket! I can't put up with her having urges to jump into the water only to discover its to cold and runs back to warm up in her blanket! Sorry folks! I'm not that nice a guy and I didn't mean for this to turn into another rant.
