She came in, settled down on her side of the bed and started sulking.
I approached her with how she's been acting for the last week and she broke down in tears.
W woke up with a massive headache that remained with her all day.
W woke up from napping
W started sulking again and said that was a mistake!
she was hungry but too lazy to make anything.
KAW, I pulled out these quotes because they tell me your W remains in this bout of depression. Maybe this is the source of all of the difficulties lately? She just seems so sad and unmotivated. How is she doing with her meds? I know that you made some mention that you wouldn't remind her anymore to take them or pick them up at the store, but... Also, it's interesting that only just a few weeks ago, you had a nice talk with your W and she seemed to be trying a little harder on your R. Then, all of a sudden, she's done an about-face. What's that all about? Depression? Counseling?
Now to the nitty-gritty...
Quote: She cried for nearly a half-hour before talking, but it was her usual cryptic garble. It sound all very familar to what I heard last year. Basically, I could sense she wasn't going to come right out with it, but I sensed she want me to ask her directly. I couldn't! I felt if I did, the conversation and our R would end up with a sense of finality of being over. I figured if that is what she wanted, she would have tell me on her own. So I did a 180 myself and remained quiet other than validating her.
KAW, I can understand you hesitating about asking certain questions, but it seems to me that your W expects you to take the lead in many situations between you two...and perhaps she wanted you to take her cue. I'm just not sure that it does much good to hold back on bringing up certain subjects. You know, whatever it may happen to be about, you'll have to deal with it sooner or later. Wouldn't you rather address it now before things can potentially get worse?
IMHO, we're in a different spot when Piecing. In our cases, most of our Ses have recognized the wrongs they have done and are trying to atone for those wrongs and move forward with us. However, as we both know, to do this requires effectively communicating, which your W seems to have a difficult time with. I think it might benefit you to take advantage of those opportunities in which she's ready to talk. Who knows, maybe her "issues" lately having little to do with your R, but just that her depression is getting to her.
Like I said, KAW, just my humble opinion. You are a DB master, but in this case maybe being more "assertive" is the answer rather than acting "as if?"
How is she doing with her meds? I know that you made some mention that you wouldn't remind her anymore to take them or pick them up at the store, but... Also, it's interesting that only just a few weeks ago, you had a nice talk with your W and she seemed to be trying a little harder on your R. Then, all of a sudden, she's done an about-face. What's that all about? Depression? Counseling?
