KAW -- Sorry that you're going through this. You may know from reading my thread that I've been plagued by recurring thoughts that h and ow have still been in contact. At first it was just the newness of finding out about the a but 2 months ago it was like a wall went up with h. he stopped doing so many of the wonderful things that he had been doing -- there was so much else going on at the time that it's hard for me to sort out whether it was a recurrence of getting in touch with ow, or the big old R talk that we had had or my own paranoia and insecurity driving him back towards being distant or whatever.

Anyway, it's been a terrific struggle but I'm finally emerging a bit -- h seems to be emerging as well.

Anyway, I know you've been struggling with w's behavior as well of late...not sure I'm offering much in the way of help...more like "I can relate" and "here's hoping it settles out" and "try not to drive yourself crazy and regress to old behaviors because that in and of itself can drive them away, I think."




Quoting KAW:
In fact the whole foundation I had built my trust on ... to regain myself from my insecurities so we can move on ... to believe as long as I remain true to myself and who I want to be, she would want to be with me as well is nothing more than crap!


well, I wouldn't call it "crap" -- I might suggest tweaking it to say that if you're true to yourself then you'll be OK no matter what happens. None of us can ensure that our mates stay with us...right? All we can do is do our very best, keep growing and learning in ourselves, treat both them and us with kindness, etc.

Sage

Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.