hey YR are you out there...your thread locked. ive read almost all your threads. your h came and went alot huh? wow. he had a hard time letting go, and you almost let go as well. were you intimate with him each time he came back? I know i am hung up on this. the only thing i got him to say is he is scared to be intimate with me. uhmmm...that leaves alot to my imagination. that is what he told the C back in sept. no movement there.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
I didn't start a new thread because things have calmed down so much for me and h and they are going just great!!! He really proved himself to me when my D was in the hospital last week. He keeps telling me that he would do anything for me because he loves me that much. He is really spoiling me!!!! Look at how long it took him to say he loved me again!!!
As for your question, yes we were intimate when he came home. It was rough going though. Not anything like before the ow. No tenderness or love in it at all. Maybe he is scared. At least he is there and working on himself. It all takes time, it will happen!!!!
thanks for stopping by!!!!!! i was hoping you would!
hes visiting warren in his new apt(cow's old apt...ewwwww) and cow is the same building! uhmmm that bothers me some...but he proved if he really wants to see her, he can and can keep it secret.....whats a girl to do?
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Yes, if what you are doing is working. Is it working, a new 2? And by working I don't necessarily mean is it causing your emotionally absent spouse to turn around. Is it working for you within your soul to continue on as you are? If not, Michelle suggests that you *do something different*.
~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
I just assume that TJ is still in contact with OW. When and if he tells me he is not, then I know it will be true. I also refuse to live without trusting him. If I find out my trust is misplaced, then I will deal with that then. But for now, I just assume that they talk. She moved hundreds of miles away, so seeing each other is not a threat. He could go there, he did before. But if that happen I will see how I feel about continuing this. I will not set a plan. TJ does not know how I feel about the trust thing. I think he will like it.
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
would you feel the same Holly if OW was living in apt building TJ owned 10 miles from where you both lived? Trust has proven to be hard. given the fact i gave it freely and he abused it.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
i want to drag our a$$es back to MC for me if nothing else...that doesnt sound right because he is willing to go, he doesnt really think we need to but i guess i need some answers.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
he doesnt really think we need to but i guess i need some answers.
Patti my H and I went to MC when he came home last time (at my insistence). At the time we both felt we got a lot out of it. I actually wanted to continue for longer but H felt we wer through the worst. Also we had scheduled some family therapy with the same provider and they don't like you to be in two types of session at once and like you to have a 6 week break from finishing one to starting another. In retrospect it was a HUGE mistake not continuing on with MC b/c I now know that no sooner had we finished than H started with his roving eye again! We also never ended up going to family therapy either b/c things in that dept had improved as well. Again big mistake. I now know (but I don't think H will ever admit) that our D17 was in fact our 'thermometer' for the M. The reason we wanted family therapy was b/c she was such a difficult child. Exit H (and hence all the 'unseen' problems) and she becomes a different child. Our changes didn't last long enough b/c they weren't enforced for long enough by those trying to teach them to us.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
