I have no clue, Dom...I guess time will tell..she seems, as well as OM, to have dove head first into this, because as she puts it..."I dont want to be scared to get hurt, but I dont want to be scared to miss a great opportunity." Ironically, I can relate to that statement with any future R I have.
I think some of my problem, too, is not finding someone that will treat me like I want to be treated. I see so much confusion and hesistation from people, its hard to find women who look at you, and automatically assume they are not interested at first glance...they never take a chance to see what the person is about in personality or whatever..
I have been told Im attractive, and personable, but I am also shy and introverted until they get to know me. Night and day. Never could crack the shell of the man who can muscle in on a woman to say hi.
But, I feel basically good about the idea of moving on, finding someone else someday, etc. I also feel I have put to rest any chance of reconcilation with W to bed right now. Besides, with her and OM "madly in love", there is not much of a challenge from anyone else at this time.
But I still ponder, after two years..why has something not happened yet? If OM and W are meant to be, wouldnt this be my ultimatium to say "its time to leave this scene and live your own life"...I just want to know why God is doing this...where is the light and how long must I wait?
Maybe I am over her, but just lonely. Maybe Im over her, but miss the security, familiarity, and having two parents at all times together for the kids. Maybe I even hold on to the hope that she will see her actions were wrong and come back, and I get scared of having another R when she comes...but those are not reasons to act this way...thery are definitely not 180s, good PMA or GAling.
So, the mood is good right now, I feel something big will happen, just don't know when or how much longer I must endure these feelings I have for W or whatever it is..I hate feeling like this.
How can you feel good 90% of the time...but its that 10% that makes you feel like you havent taken more than two steps toward moving on with your life. Strange how it works.
