smiley- I'm neither wise, nor an expert, but here are some thoughts!
I understand your loneliness! My W is in the house, but it barely helps. Sometimes I think it would be easier if she wasn't. Are you going to get her back? These is no way to know that.
The Tony thing was a big mistake. Sure, the videos upset you, but that does not excuse what you did. OK, so what did you learn? I'd say that firstly, she resisted Tony's approach, he has to be pretty persistent. Then, it sounds like she didn't lie to Tony about what you did.
Ok, moving on to the next bit... You pushed her "lightly" twice, and then restrained her. You need to resolve that that will NEVER happen again. No excuses. If she wouldn't leave the room, you leave the room. You cannot do what you did.
So, now work on yourself. Seeing a counselor is a good start. Get a life (that does NOT mean date). Read up on the LRT, I think you are there.
Remember that a baby changes a lot of things, adds a lot of stress, and fatigue. Think about how you reacted to the changes that came when she was born.
